So what is this big hype about the elf and the Santa only rewarding the good kids?
It’s a nice way of taming the kids if they are super naughty 99% of the times this trick works just well, but have you as a mom thought what shall happen to your hyper active kids if you ask them to sit quietly in a corner or not to jump around the house or not to play outside while its getting dark n cold by 6pm?
I wonder what happens to those kids? What will happen to their inner soul and the energy not yet consumed if they want to be in the good books of Santa? Are there no ways we can deal with this big hype of ‘only rewarding the good kids’?
I talked to a few moms around and here is what they say,
a DIY snowman since we have no snowfall ever!
Manisha who stays in Perth has been a regular follower of my blogs and her family of four has been in Australia since 10 years now.
“I am not sure how far will the trend of ‘Santa is real’ stay in our home since my elder one is already 7 and beginning to realize people dress up as Santa and sit at malls for Christmas celebrations. But until last year we had a rule that all the good deeds shall be counted and so will the bad ones, for everyone in the house. If the good deeds weigh more in number, we are all buying that person a special Christmas gift, whatever the he/she wishes for; My kids would be aware of the deed box since November but we often contribute whatever deeds we did throughout the year”
our origami Christmas tree
I was quite touched about this, why punish the bad kids and reward only the good ones? I have seen Grinch like every single Christmas since middle school, and every bad boy gets a chance to be good, no matter green or pink fur-ed…
I met a tutor recently, who I took D for a pre-christmas workshop and she was so ready to celebrate with the kiddos, all aged 4 to 10 years… I wished her good luck for its a task to handle these little storms; she smiled and said, ” I love kids Kunj, and I have handled a much naughtier lot. Trust me, when they are in the positive aura, they are the bested girls and boys” .
I also love how schools teach the ‘joy of giving’ during these few weeks 🙂
talking about rewards all kids as equal, do share what you think as a mom, or a mentor, or a school educator.
you can leave a comment or email me at email@example.com
Recently a lot of moms messaged me, a few I am now close to have even Whatsapp-ed me at odd hours asking what to carry and what not while travelling with a toddler.
Firstly, I am so happy and indebted to those who trust my motherly instincts and ask for suggestions.
Secondly, I understand why they ask. My husband and I are very fond of travelling. There are destinations which we visit again and again because we love being there. I have traveled for holidays in my first , second and last trimester as well… as far as 300-400kms without having any issues. Thank you Lord for that… and My first short trip with the kiddo was when he was about 45days old while first big holiday trip was when he turned 6 months old… in between I was either attending weddings or too tired and sleeping on weekends .. lol !
And lastly, I socialize a lot and love to receive or pass on suggestions (not advises) to moms who believe I mean good for her and the little one. I take in suggestions as well, in a healthy way and it has always helped me except weight losing tips.. they never work and I don’t understand why !!
So lets make a list of major things required by moms:
As simple as it sounds, it’s the most difficult thing I have done for Dhruvaan. I heard so many friends doing it at 6 months or 11 months and even at 2 years! While I was sitting here on four-leg stool after 4 years of motherhood trying to finally achieve it.
Well, I take the blame entirely on myself. I was always more concerned on developing traits such as empathy and values and thought potty training will happen on it’s own. I will also blame a teeny weeny bit on my son for always fnding it secur eto do it in his underpants and diapers rather than on the potty seat. I had to pay for it in a hard way when D was about to turn 4, going to begin a new schooling year in an entire new school 2 months later and also going to be the last of his friends to be trained to use the potty seat on his own.
he has had pressures at the most awkward places
Sometime in March I began working as a full time professor and hence my laid back nature became a worry! How will he manage at the bigger school where he will be staying for half a day! What will happen to him if he feels the pressure to vacate in the school hours? Or worse, on his bus ride which is about 30 mins long. I could totally trust my mother in law to take care of him in my absence while at home but what in school? I was afraid he will feel ashamed for not being able to casually use the toilet like other kids.
We were already off diapers before he was 3 years old but potty… he was shit scared of sitting on a seat and using it. He would rather stand aloof in a corner and finish it in his training pants and expect me or my m-i-l to do the cleaning part for him.
so i had to think of an idea
Every time someone wondered why I couldn’t potty train him yet, I always replied; ‘it can wait’
I started learning more of it on Pinterest – how to potty train in 12 easy steps. how to train in less than 48 hours !! And they were many in number.
We read books together and got him to try and sit while I sat in front of him showing him a perfect body language to push it out…
it didn’t help. George influenced him but couldn’t help him instantly.
A week later I came across an app called “potty training game” by Russpuppy.
This was the game changer. He played it so many times that probably he got a feel how easy it was for everyone to vacate when the need arises.
More than anything else my secondary reason to download this was because it had a bear who played and played and went to the loo when needed… same was the story base of the book we were reading that he played and played and ran back home to use the loo when he felt the need.
The storyline connection really helped. He was trained in about a couple of days only some time in May 2017 and he began school in June 2017. Writing the post in September just to confirm the practice was consistent. We no longer use the app; but I must say the results are apt to what it should be doing and also inculcating the good habits post vacating.
This makes me feel what a wonderful thing technology is. I must have been taunted by a handful of people on why I shouldn’t be giving my mobile phone to the kiddo… well said, but #facepalm it helped me solve a major issue which your taunts didn’t help solve. #highfive
THANK YOU GEORGE
OR WHATEVER YOUR ACTUAL NAME IS.
Moral of the story:
1. you kid will learn to poop only when he/she is confident himself/herself
2. Technology is good better and best if you know how to use it wisely
3. animals (more specifically bears) teach us a lot
4. it’s okay for a mom to get help from outside. Not every mom has to be a perfect trainer.
A week before you turned 4 I received a report card from your teacher who said you need more practice holding a pencil and writing numerals and alphabets… not that you don’t know how to trace them but you need help if you have to write your them on your own.. she told me you are moody and would do your homework and class work pencil writing only when asked to. Otherwise you are a good boy and your wide smile is precious to the class. You are shy but once a friend you share your sunshine with them. But you need to know how to write alphabets on your own, you will be asked to write 3 letter words K-1 onwards you see. you paint and color very well, you can write too but…
making animals with wings in sand.
I understand the pressure upon writing with pencil and the fact that alphabets need to be written to prove you are a smart student, those who came to know about your remarks asked me to buy you books that help tracing with pencil practice better and asking me to enroll you to a tuition class to start writing. The remarks from less important people were harsh and sounded like personal space invading threats but … dear son, you must know that none of the above affects me when I think about you as a growing person.
I have seen you grow like a man in the last one year and I am super proud of what you are becoming.
I have seen you empathize for strangers, I have seen you helping your classmates, I have seen you show respect to shopkeepers, vendors and maids. I have seen you sharing what is yours with your closest ones. I have seen you sacrifice on your most favorites for your friends.
a dream you are cultivating
I have seen you wear your clothes and remove the soiled ones, putting them carefully in the machine all on your own. I have seen you eat your food and making sure you have no leftovers, I have seen you denying a third or at times a second helping too just because you are aware you don’t want to waste food because a many of them won’t get dinner before bed.
my fave pic of my men together
I have seen you motivated to learn to ride a cycle and ride it in a few hours on your own. I have seen you walking 6kms up the mountain without throwing a tantrum. I have seen you ride a horse for the first time and that too for 20 kms without being scared. You trusted us when papa n I said we won’t let you fall down. I have seen you be a sport when I asked you to jump in the pool with me with cold water in 13degrees outside. I have seen you ride a sledge in snow like you will meet santa on the other end. I have seen you give me a helping hand when I was scared of jumping on a shikara that was shaking. I have seen you adjust on a night jungle safari at -2degrees. I have seen you walk gracefully to pat a wild bear untamed, unchained and feed her jaggery.
my brave one
I see you grow everyday the way you will face the world, and whether you ace at writing 3 letter words with pencil or not, baby you have already made me proud of who you are and who you choose to be while you are growing up. You are our shadow and yet you are on your own a soul so different from us. Dear son, as you turn 4 I am happy you choose to call me mom and PG your dad. D, we could not have asked god to bless us with a purer soul than yours. Thank you for making sure there are exactly 1460(4 years) memories that make me proud of you rather than just 26 alphabets that prove you are a good student.
last evening a really good friend called up and asked what can be given to her 1 year old twins- a boy and a girl- who are severely constipated. she is here for two of her medical treatments which actually means she is herself unwell… her daughter is cranky because she cannot pass her stool and the son is oh well.. just too playful but still constipated. ‘… american citizens that they are , there are possibilities that the babies are having trouble digesting our local water and plus the dust, pollution, jet lag! there are so many possibilities i said. its possible they don’t even like the indian toilets. ‘
‘its just poop!! kunj, just poop!! they are not forcing it out of their bodies, stop talking nonsense’ she shouted at me.
‘ok, give me a few hours. will talk to this amazing group of wats app mums i know who all have toddlers and must have passed through such a phase. they might give some ideas, until then give them lots of water and fibrous fruits.’ i replied aware with the frustration a mom feels when the kid is unwell… here she had two!
i then asked my amazing mommy friends on what to do to cure constipation… severe or just normal! here are some really helpful and natural remedies that helped my friends’s twins and i think shall help you too, readers! babies or toddlers, its just best to cure it naturally. and of course if not curable there are always wonderful doctors to help us out round the clock. here i am listing a few of them to help you, screen shot it… save it.. you never know when it shall be handy. and do show some love to the wonderful contributors with yours comments.
HOW TO CURE COMMON CONSTIPATION IN BABIES / TODDLERS :
1. give them water… lots of it and however they like it. as it is in glasses or straw bottles they love. or even with glucose or a hint of lemon n honey… they more the fluids the easier the out-flow will be.
2. Priyanka (a friend from surat) told me how she made sure her toddler has food that helped create soft motion since the child starting with milk and papaya a while later and a fibrous juice or orange after an interval… no solids that suck up body water in between. this helped the kid pass soft motion by afternoon.
specially for a heavily constipated kid its very important to keep them hydrated. excess of water will only result in a few more bathroom visits a day but less water means the kid will have a hard time pushing it all out. and which kid has the patience to sit on the seat until its all out?? until and unless you sit in front reading their favorite book or something ! hahaha… that can be fun. anyone has tried it?
3. this is my personal nuskha or to say something i developed according to my kid’s tummy-type. give them something that never stays in their tummy. for my kid its nuts ! overtime he has had his favorite street lorry peanuts that has been roasted on low flame. we buy him just a few because he cannot digest them at all… every time he has had it he has done an excess amount of potty! bits of nuts all over the bathroom floor that he could not control. we know that will happen so we give him nuts only at a time when he is either constipated or he is going to stay at home for the next few hours. its his favorite and we cannot say ‘no’ to him all the time, i just prepare myself to clean up the bathroom floor without making faces. so if your kid has a day when he cannot flush out you can consider giving any food that you know will definitely help drain out the dirt. for a few kids its warm milk or even boiled maize kernels that don’t stay in the body and along with it flushes out the body solids that has refused to move out.
4. has it been that the kid says … mumma i feel the pressure but its not coming out !!! well, try rubbing some vicks baby balsam or sudocream to the butt. create a warm bum. sounds sick but that helps. its the best on the spot solution. the warm bum will help ooze out. vaseline will help too. the excreta is too dry and hence the problem. if this is an everyday thing then read point no. 5
5. HEARD ABOUT MAGIC FOODS ? well, for constipated kids there are two awesome magic foods the nature has given us. 1. raisins and 2. oranges.
Nite (a friend from daman ) tells me how raisins that have been soaked at night and had in the morning helped her kid. raisins are high in iron that helps a bad tummy recover. and priyanka says oranges are awesome and best food for constipated babies because of high content of vit.C. i agree… logically both are fibrous and has immense water content that can drive the poop out. not only these two fruits help build immunity but also help clear the intestine. the best part both orange and raisins are available almost all through out the year. i can say that because my son is an orange lover and we have always stocked them in a dozen every week for almost 9-10 months last year in 2016. they are available fresh or imported.
6. a magic food i have always been treated with by my mom is M for… Mango ! its already warm in nature and having an entire one of this fruit that has been kept in room temperature clears the intestine on time. normally only available during the summers in india but if it works this summer with your kid you can always stash a 5kg pulp in storage when the season is about to end like my mom does. every time my son goes to visit her ; no matter what time of the year he has been greeted with aam-ras / mango juice. my mom peels the skin and cuts the mango into small uneven pieces and puts them in a plastic container with lid in the freezer as a storage making sure no water content is in the pulp or container. if your freezer is small you can also use zip lock bags. its always handy.
7. one way to make sure constipation doesn’t make a u-turn is to feed the kid yogurt in some or the other way. either as it is with lunch or dinner or make some dalia/raita with fruit n veggie bits in it or you may even cook in yogurt (google recipes that can be made). the probiotic bacteria that is found in yogurt is the best bad boy that treats a bad tummy. it can be had in constipation as well as loosies. it cane had to avoid both of these. once the kid is treated with the necessary natural ways to cure tummy problems they must be put on a diet that includes fibre as well as yogurt in any form.
8. just in case nothing of the above help and its been about more than a week since the child last pooped you must visit the doc. most of the times they suggest muout. a medicine that cleans the intestine and pushes the dirt out. this is a tried and tested medicine suggested by many moms but to be on a safer side just talk to your kid’s doc first before taking any medicine from a drug shelf. the above mentioned solutions are all natural.
if these help you do pass on the blog link to your friends and family and mommies in various groups over social media. lets help all constipated babies and kids have a healthy tummy.
my son and I went to this weekend flea market where everything was super costly and extravagant, what i learned was- buying from exhibitions means spending all important cash on useless items.
what my son learned- huge gardens are fun and elephants are yellow and blue.
loving the lazying around
he particularly loved this installation and played around this elephant most of the evening. now grey elephants are so bookish for him because real elephants are colorful! we often see temple elephants on the streets… painted with beautiful pinks and yellows and green hues and then came this one- yellow and huge!
since that day i have never stopped his imagination. we often color cows in blue and lions in pink. we particularly love decorating kites with various sketchpens because they are all beautiful and more the colors more fun they look!
often i see parents restrict their kids with lots of rules and regulate their behavior.
D does like gardens and slides but if he gets to run his trucks and cars in sand and dirt he has his best time of the day! i let him do what he likes. he dirties his hands and knees, his hair often has specks of gifts from nature collected on the playground… i often shout at how he never listens to me to play indoors but hey, he did that for 30 months… now he wants to play outside and this mommy won’t say no! he weaves stories of how his truck is running on a difficult sloppy mud slide and conquers the demon like road! hahaha… have we all done that in our childhood already ?? yes, we have!!
4 of the 30 existing
if trucks are for muddy plays… let them do that!
if elephants are yellow, say yes!
do humans have wings?? yes, they r just not visible , they lay inside the tiny mind of the kid. tiny for us and gigantically grand for them. so many questions and so many beautiful colors that THEY PERCEIVE.
around the time when i will turn 30 i am assuming i will see the world in only three colors- black , white and grey. whereas my son has more shades of every colour than i have in my wardrobe… ready to be painted across his own world.
why do we restrict them to rules ? why can’t we just let them be kids when they are already?
i hate parents who treat their 3 year old like a 10 year old and expect him to show the same maturity in his talks, mannerisms and even conduct!
i can go on talking and arguing about why kids should be let free to play n learn on their own and paint the walls and roll in the mud and play with caterpillars and catch the butterflies in a jar! smash a window with a ball and leave the leftovers for the dog. sleep under the stars and kiss the kittens.
but for now i am too busy to talk about it—–
because we painting the bat green and purple
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its my son’s third birthday and i was have been busy making a list of friends to invite and menu to decide; cake to order and arrangements be made. how much will i be able to shell out asks my mind… lol, its your son’s birthday… dont think twice! replies the heart.
we possibly do everything for them. right from nine months of pregnancy and sickness, going through hours of labor pain, sleepless nights of feedings, washing and cleaning the feeding and cooking and picking up and dropping them to schools and events and revising for tests and preparing for big exams and paying for grad studies and planning a wedding and paying for the honeymoon and adjusting with the newly weds and taking care through sickness… and in health… in rains and in winters!! what is left out?? nothing!
you are three years old now. what a maddening and lovely 36 months these were. i have never been through so much of pain when you were born and i have never ever been so happy the moment you were born. so for all the labor pain i went through your first smile paid for it. now u don’t need to go through similar pain when i grow old and tired.
remember those nights when you peed on my clothes and got all the sheets dirty too?? never mind the frustrations of the night cleaning. you just paid for it when u searched for a water closet at a party two months back and decided only to do it there. you did it all by yourself including tucking the shirt in and just paid for my sleepless nights. i am proud of you son. now you don’t need to stay awake all night long when i grow old… give me a chance to learn on my own too.
two years back i mashed your first food apart from my feed… today you call me your best friend and the best cook, and you just paid for all the labor i did in the kitchen by proudly announcing it to our family and your friends. now u don’t need to mash or make my food to return the favor when i grow old. you have already made me happy at the age of three.
when you first received a wound while playing with your friends you hugged me and cried and let my hugs and kisses heal you from within. you trusted me while i helped you clean the wound and gave me a kiss in return. dear son, when i grow old i don’t need your hard earned money to heal my aged wounds; let’s just hug and kiss again and let me return your love with a kiss that time.
i would hang up a client’s call and let the vegetables burn on the stove when you needed me to patiently help you wear your own clothes. treat me with the same patience when i grow old. i don’t want you to shout at your wife or call a maid for me, i only want you to patiently wait for five more minutes while i struggle to close the buttons or tie the lace. let’s just smile and encourage each other all the time.
oh what a beautiful day it was when you came back from your first school trip and you would just not stop babbling about all the fun you had. my son, there will be more trips and stories to share when i shall send you to a bigger school and a better college. i shall work hard and pay so you can weave a lot of memories in future. but when you start working, just call me once a day and keep on sharing them like you do everyday right now. i don’t want a part of your salary; i only want to listen to what memories you made today. i know you shall make me proud some day and i want to be a part of those memorable days and not a part of your paycheck.
for all the soiled shoes and plates and dirty laundry i do for you everyday ensures you are growing up fine and healthy and happy! for all the pain i go through you pay for it everyday with your hugs and kisses and smiles and laughter and trust and tugging into my arms and sharing stories and playing with me and holding my hand and breathing on my face while sleeping on my shoulder… aaahhhh!!! i am already being paid back instantly for all the things i do for you. thank you for loving me back. i shall keep on loving you all my life my son. now you don’t need to cook and clean and pay for my medicines when i grow old. you have already made me happy and proud and i am sure you shall love me the same when you grow tall and i lean on my three foot stick.
just call me once a day and share what you did, make me laugh and be my friend. that’s all i ask for.
you have already made feel like the best mom. you have already brought in lots of happiness in my life. my son, a woman goes through various phases in her life and being your mom has been my best phase ever! so love me back and hug me more. kiss me tight and call me more.
you are just three… so we have more memories to make and i have more letters to write for you.
There are numerous things we buy for our kids and some of them have a ‘wow, i guess i shall buy this once more’ effect as parents.
most of the toys don’t last until i can get a good picture of it. they have, according to my kid, some invisible wings which he tests by throwing it from our third floor flat. sadly they end up dying a miserable broken death within two days! some are valued so much that they accompany my husband and me on the bed that night and if the toy behaves well … a few nights! he clings on them and dreams about them like his favorite set of digger and excavators and dumpers.
some items like the perfect shampoo for his hair and the most baby like fragrance lotion always hit on my shopping list on a repeat. some edibles are so yum that i often sneak in his snack jar while he ain’t watching for a treat myself. hahaha such a bad mom i am !!
here is my list of most recommended or best buys for toddlers 2015.
pipe link set
comes in a wooden environmental friendly box, this linking the pipe set is amazing. teach them colors, shapes, hand-eye co-ordination etc. and as a mom i love the fact that he is left to imagine any
making some tables in coordinating colors
thing that he wants to make. there is nothing perfect or right way to creativity. he imagines and makes aeroplanes , guns, tables, water fountains from these. plus he repeats colors everytime he makes them. home schooling= check!!
multi functional cleanser
perfect for everything. we clean our toys and utensils, fruits and clothes and sometimes even wipe his cupboard shelf with this.
everywhere a child’s hands reach he is bound to get in contact with a million germs. some good, some bad. and no kid is like Lord Krishna who would be just fine even if he eats mud! we have had days when he would throw up if his meal plate ain’t cleaned well. since then i clean all his utensils myself. all his clothes are rinsed by me first in this liquid before its dumped with the rest of the clothes in the washing machine. as a mom everything goes under my nose and eyes radar before it reaches him. this chicco bottle is a strong recommendation for all mommies and house daddies.
marriages, jungle treks and lots of other such parties where finger foods by heinz and gerber come handy. one box at the age of three is too small to call a meal but at times it really helps me to get him seated for an hour until we find food suitable for him. i have had days when he would just not have milk! i get the milk sipper filled at a supra high rate at a 5star resort and he would not touch it because the milk has a different taste… troubles with kids who only drink and eat certain flavors !! keeping a pack or two is always recommended no matter what the child’s age is!
no! certainly not the bottle… the crocs in blue! lol
we bought these for five times the cost normal crocs like shoes in malls and stores and i m happy we bought the costlier version. best buy for him. he literally lives in them. they are comfortable, he runs and jumps in them, he plays in the park and rides his bicycle in them. he climbed some 500 steps while we were doing some sight-seeing at a holiday. summers rains n cold… perfect for all seasons. i wont be able to describe it better. it lasted the entire year and maybe this year too and maybe sometime late this year i shall give it to a kid younger than him and that kid will also be able to use it for long. what better can i ask for his tiny budding soft feet?! best buy of the year.
we have travelled a lot this year and with the changing season the nose always gets blocked, the sneezes never stop and the endless itchy nights leave the kid and myself sleep deprived. this jnj vapor bath is so good. add it in an empty bucket or bathtub, fill the bucket/bathtub with warm running water and the entire thing is filled with white non-soapy bubbles. and the bathroom is filled with menthol vapors. i would recommend this to all mothers for themselves as well as their kids. it can be used for kids 3 months and above. perfect for hair wash too. doesn’t work as a shampoo, once shampoo is applied cleanse it with this water and all dirty mucous comes running out from the nose. the inhaling on soft vapor air helped us clean those chocked and blocked nose and lungs. this winter we haven’t been to the doc. three cheers for jnj vapor bath!
email me your best buys and we shall put it up here on the website. firstname.lastname@example.org
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Monday morning after I dropped him to school I was gulping down a rather quick breakfast and browsing through facebook while waiting for a few downloads to happen on another window for a seminar i gotta take for a few college kids… I popped in huge spoonfuls of cereal and decided to eat the banana later when I am driving on the way… so much to do my brain was over flowing with tasks to be done by E.O.D ;
I wish every mother was gifted a supernatural superpower that begins on monday morning and fades by tuesday afternoon.
the pretty mess
i am serious, a lot to deal with on a monday morning exhausts me by lunchtime and I question myself how will I manage rest of the day. some friends say they are glad monday happens, it means kids go to school, husband runs to the office and you have all the time to relax n sip your cuppa joy! yes yes… i so agree with you.
but i hate sitting in that chair and sipping my tea.
i see crumbles of dried food in that corner he was playing on saturday evening. marks from his miniature JCB are mopped on sunday but i see the image in my mind has stamped a memory fresh forever.
i hear shrills of laughter on the bed where the imaginary daddy horse took the kid on a ride over the clouds and near the moon, the laughter has pulled out the corners of the bedsheets and i need to tuck it back in and save the echo in the turns of my ears.
this weekend he colored the apple, the ball, and even the white bed-cover in his favorite colors. we have never asked him to color inside the boundaries of his color book pages. i am glad he colored more than that… i shall now preserve the pictures to review them when he stops coloring to pick a night at the disco.
empty packs of treats and chocolates were lying stray on the side table. I quietly said my prayer and thanked God for giving us money enough to spend more than the daily needs. I folded the comforter and slid down two pieces of the jigsaw [outside] he was doing last evening.
if you have been reading my blogs from my pregnancy days, u know i worked at a publishing house that time…all that reading and researches, the hard work has paid off… my son at 2.4 can solve puzzles meant for 4+ thank you Lord, for you gave us more than we asked for. keep your faith in us forever.
the room was cleaned. I picked up the soiled clothes and popped them in the washing machine. popped in them the bruises on his knee from the evening cycle ride in the parking area; popped inside the worn-out jeans that had a mocktail stain and a cheese sauce stain, has stains of tears and laughter, paw marks of the new pups and of the creamy biscuit hands that were wiped in the car because kids like ONLY creamy biscuits.
i closed the weekend window only to open it 5 days later. will dust the weekday off from it and let the weekend breeze get in again. the pleasant aroma of freshly cooked monday lunch filled in the room as the window closed. time to get back to the chores and do some work. weekend.. THOU SHALL BE MISSED BUT WE WILL SEE on YOU AGAIN. you bring in lots of joy and laughter and memories to create and love to share, bonds to make and touch of care.
the weekend window is now shut.
see you soon.
my son makes sure i lose at least one of any above once a day, raising a 2+ something toddler is a task of its own. you gotta be a brave mom to handle one all alone. i have my mil who constantly pats my back and keeps me going. i really wonder what would i do had she not been around. right from those really long nights when he would refuse to sleep; days when he was sick and needed only a mommy-hug ; when i wanted to take a nap or go take a 90 min spa break! ; when all a i wanted to do was watch tv in peace or eat from my plate at my ease. these are tiny things but she made sure i never compromised as a woman, wife, blogger or being just a friend to everyone around me. she may be the only one in my home to know about my son as much as i do! he plays with her and she spoils him with treats.
D’s first food was fed by his grandmom
i cannot thank her enough for being with us when our child was growing up and these two years passed by more smoothly than i thought/heard/imagined of.
i write today not to thank her. i can do that enough on a personal ground. i want to share with you my lovely friend what the importance of grandparents is in our kid’s life. i am not the first one to talk about it, my child is not the first one to experience it, we are not the first ever family who lives with their parents but somewhere we all crib about how we want to raise the child on our own but the elders always have their wishes and opinions (read: advices) for everything.
we forget that the child needs more than just a mom and dad, that the child is born in a family and family only doesn’t mean parents. one of those many roles that all feminist advertisements forget to boast about is that of a grandmother, or granddaughter. and no one ever tells you that a grandfather and a grandson are also stages of a man’s emotional life cycle.
my dad with D. love them rock-solid
there has to be someone who can take you to the temple or the church, someone who can tell you old school stories without looking through a book or a phone app. someone who can share with you anecdotes of how your parents were naughtier than you when they were your age, that things don’t always make a person beautiful but their characteristics do, that bravery is valued and money cannot buy a night under the stars.
the ‘value your parents’ and ‘believe in hard work’ have numerous yarns from the family legacy that grandparents tell you.
when you have done something really really wrong you know hiding behind grandpa can save your life from the angrier than a wrestling bull mom!
when you need a treat or a walk in the market grandma is always the first one to be asked for it,
those mythological stories before bed and the lollipops after the report card day , who else would spoil us for these but the grandparents?
helping her cross the road when she gets old and taunting her for forgetting her medicines makes her equally happy.
learning some hammer techniques or joining the family business is going to make him so happy and proud, his wrinkles will show all over the cheeks.
mothers will feel secure and fathers will feel blessed when their kids play with their grandparents.
my grandparents had tears in their eyes when they held my son in their arms the day he was born. 4 years back when my nephew was born i saw them laughing and smiling and so cheerful for their first ever great grandchild was born.
they feel lucky to be with us and our children and we should feel lucky they are around us, to bless us and give our children all the wisdom they earned through their life.
i make sure my son spends at least a few hours just playing with his grandparents everyday. he has to build memories with them, for when he grows up he needs to tell his kids what a shitty grand mom his kids have, knows only how to blog and create kitchen fiasco where as he was always blessed with baa-dada and a treasure full of memories captured on phone , saved on google. “thank you technology”
D with my mom. they share d same genes
the day he was born, i was exhausted plus visitors flooded in the entire day, D spend his entire first night outside my womb with her, cuddled with her , the fragile little one got his first bath, maalish and formulae from her. his guardian angel is what i call her.
D with his grandfather
no matter what the time, no matter how tired he is, no matter how tensed he is with things from work; he makes sure D never goes to sleep without laughing out loud and plays with him. sweet dreams is what he gifts D every single night !!