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Mothers Day Rant

I don’t want to post a mother’s day picture if it means more on a particular hot day of May and not enough through out the year. Honestly, I have nothing against all those beautiful mom pics on social media the entire Sunday. It helps… those pretty happy faces and writings.. it helps! It seriously does. Because for one day my mind was derailed from the COVID lockdown news and the deaths and the boys locker room reports and the daily DIYS and recipe pics. It was a refreshing change before Monday happened. 

I know moms are strong, its not an easy to dilate 10 cms and get that 3kg pushed out finally after so many months or live with those few CS stitches for the rest of your life. But moms are also weak. Weaker than anyone knows. These aren’t random personal thoughts but careful observations of moms I have seen… Moms of all ages. 

A mom cannot teach her daughter to go punch the mohalla ka bully boy; she is expected to go talk to the brother or father of the family to handle the situation. She handles the entire house and its occupants for free every single day, why is it that she can’t handle this?

A mom cannot teach her son to cook for living, she is expected to cook extra meals and remind her child that she can re-heat and serve if her son has mid-meal hunger pangs. 

A mom cannot encourage daughters to count herself as equal to sons, because, hello! The entire nation has dirty things to say to women who enter boys locker rooms. In real or virtual. 

A mom cannot encourage her sons to play with dolls or wear pink, because, hello! The entire nation has comments to write and say that pulls down the kid’s confidence which shall now take years to build again. 

What can you as an individual do for your mothers to make her feel special?

Don’t just let an international date tell you when to celebrate all that your mom has done for you.

Don’t let your spouses decide what you want to gift your moms (both the moms) on birthdays and special occasions. Pick up something yourself with a careful thought. 

Do your own chores. She will be more happy to see you be independent. 

Bake her a cake not on mothers day and birthdays only… bake her something nice when she has menstrual cramps. That is when she needs comfort the most. 

Be friends with her friends and let your friends be her friends too. Let her feel she belongs in your circle of happiness. 

Follow her advice if you can. She says so by experience. If you cannot, explain your point of view to her. I am sure she will understand. 

Let her choose a holiday destination, her Sunday meal restaurant, her choice of movie and go with her. She has the right to choose for herself after all these years when she chose to do what you would enjoy.

Call her everyday even if you are in the same city. 

And… 

Tell her how much you miss her randomly. 

Not just in #mothersday posts. 

Christmas Round The Corner

So what is this big hype about the elf and the Santa only rewarding the good kids?
It’s a nice way of taming the kids if they are super naughty 99% of the times this trick works just well, but have you as a mom thought what shall happen to your hyper active kids if you ask them to sit quietly in a corner or not to jump around the house or not to play outside while its getting dark n cold by 6pm?
I wonder what happens to those kids? What will happen to their inner soul and the energy not yet consumed if they want to be in the good books of Santa? Are there no ways we can deal with this big hype of ‘only rewarding the good kids’?
I talked to a few moms around and here is what they say,

a DIY snowman since we have no snowfall ever!

a DIY snowman since we have no snowfall ever!

Manisha who stays in Perth has been a regular follower of my blogs and her family of four has been in Australia since 10 years now.
“I am not sure how far will the trend of ‘Santa is real’ stay in our home since my elder one is already 7 and beginning to realize people dress up as Santa and sit at malls for Christmas celebrations. But until last year we had a rule that all the good deeds shall be counted and so will the bad ones, for everyone in the house. If the good deeds weigh more in number, we are all buying that person a special Christmas gift, whatever the he/she wishes for; My kids would be aware of the deed box since November but we often contribute whatever deeds we did throughout the year”

our origami Christmas tree

our origami Christmas tree

I was quite touched about this, why punish the bad kids and reward only the good ones? I have seen Grinch like every single Christmas since middle school, and every bad boy gets a chance to be good, no matter green or pink fur-ed…
I met a tutor recently, who I took D for a pre-christmas workshop and she was so ready to celebrate with the kiddos, all aged 4 to 10 years… I wished her good luck for its a task to handle these little storms; she smiled and said, ” I love kids Kunj, and I have handled a much naughtier lot. Trust me, when they are in the positive aura, they are the bested girls and boys” .

I also love how schools teach the ‘joy of giving’ during these few weeks 🙂
talking about rewards all kids as equal, do share what you think as a mom, or a mentor, or a school educator.
you can leave a comment or email me at info@awomansays.com

good wishes to all,
Kunj 🙂

rich baby, happy mom

HAPPINESS IS A HAPPY KID AT HOME

doing our summer.. right way!

doing our summer.. right way!

Needless to say, I have been like all other working moms we know around us- super busy since the summer break started. There is a constant need to keep the kids busy since its scorching hot outside and just so mundane in the house. It’s a different story if you have a separate play area for the kid or even a younger/older sibling to keep company and sadly I have none!!
I often have to think of various new activities to keep D busy.

Step1: Firstly, was to make him count all his piggy bank coins and lay them out in 1’s 2’s 5’s and 10’s …

I was down with my chums and just needed to apply a cucumber pack on my face, switch on the a.c to the lowest and dose off! but with this wonder kid around I could hardly wink my eyes, forget getting some rest or a nap 🙁

Step 2: Ask the little active brain to count if he can to find the sum of all the stacks of 10 coins each he has made.

Step 3: give him a paper and crayons much in advance — before application of the cucumber pack– to write or draw what he wanted to buy from all his savings !! My little one drew something so pretty and abstract that I needed him to describe it all to me. 😀

Step 4: doze off next to the toddler while he is super busy at work and won’t disturb the mommy in pain

Step 5: the toddler often dozes off next to you cuddled up

Step 6: wake up; refreshed ! And help count again and see the sum amount… add a few coins to finish it off in a round figure.

excited little fellow filled an orange pouch with all the coins

excited little fellow filled an orange pouch with all the coins

Step 7: Ask the kiddo to handover the wishlist ! this is always the most exciting part! 🙂

making choices is tough

making choices is tough

Step 8: GO to the supermarket with him and buy whatever he wants from the racks … healthy , unhealthy, packaged or raw, even if it’s something he already owns!

he loves dragging the orange cart around on his own

he loves dragging the orange cart around on his own

Step 9: let him pay in change. watch him be super happy… slip in some cash bills to the counter guy if they amount exceeds their savings

Step 10: let the kiddo carry it all home all by himself ! see the joy of unpacking, try click a few pics and pass it on the dad or family group.

happy baby makes a happy mommy

happy baby makes a happy mommy

Step 11: BE PROUD OF THE BIG BABY AND PLANT LOTS OF KISSES ON THE LITTLE KANGAROO

p.s we bought a lot of things: this one below was a total waste of his money!!

surprise bags are nothing a genius

surprise bags are nothing a genius

Travelling with the Toddler Part 1

Recently a lot of moms messaged me, a few I am now close to have even Whatsapp-ed me at odd hours asking what to carry and what not while travelling with a toddler.
Firstly, I am so happy and indebted to those who trust my motherly instincts and ask for suggestions.
Secondly, I understand why they ask. My husband and I are very fond of travelling. There are destinations which we visit again and again because we love being there. I have traveled for holidays in my first , second and last trimester as well… as far as 300-400kms without having any issues. Thank you Lord for that… and My first short trip with the kiddo was when he was about 45days old while first big holiday trip was when he turned 6 months old… in between I was either attending weddings or too tired and sleeping on weekends .. lol !
And lastly, I socialize a lot and love to receive or pass on suggestions (not advises) to moms who believe I mean good for her and the little one. I take in suggestions as well, in a healthy way and it has always helped me except weight losing tips.. they never work and I don’t understand why !!

Little D

Little D

So lets make a list of major things required by moms:

1. Diapers
Continue reading

cooking with the kid

well, cooking with the kid hasn’t been an easy task.
It takes about a zillion years to take clean-perfect light-angle pics and more than that it takes about a million light years more to click at the right moment. The TODDLER is never stable, he has about a 100 more bones that all function together specifically when I am supposed to only assist him do what he loves doing the best- Get In The Kitchen With Momma And Cook.
I have been dreaming of getting in a vlogging mode since about 2 years but have never been able to do it.
Two reasons for the same- never felt beautiful enough to be in front of the camera. Secondly, never have found time to do any editing… i have atleast 10 videos I wanted to put on youtube last year.
This year in 2018 I have told myself to listen to my heart and just do it… there are more stupid-er and not so perfect looking people out there making videos that make no sense… may be I can be one more of that crowd and count on my lucky stars to be the brightest that day!

Here are we again, cooking yet another pretty looking boxed cake. Trust me, its not that I don’t know how to bake from the scratch but its just so easier to do a box mix cake with a toddler around who wants to be the head chef!
We love the pillsbury box mix- check this reference post . But this time around we tried another box mix that we found at 50% off during the Christmas week.

Weikfield cooker cake mix

Weikfield cooker cake mix

Planned to make this in a rice cooker… well, only because it means not using a stove. my bub would just have to put a double boiler and lid on top and switch it on.

The mixing and churning then began…

mixing the milk first

mixing the milk first

And the rest of the ingredients as mentioned:

oil, cocoa, milk and some of mumma's love <3

oil, cocoa, milk and some of mumma’s love <3 It is really satisfying to do an activity with the kid once a week... I began working full time last March, and that's why less number of blogs; work is just so super cool but I miss spending a lot of time with him so I make sure we do something together once a week... we go to the park or catch an animated movie together or cook something that he can do all by himself while I only help him around... He loves being photographed while he cooks. He loves being photographed while he cooks.

Well, doing any activity with the kid is fun. For instance, picking up a coloring book and just splashing all imagination with a box of crayons on it! But for D and me, cooking is more fun than watching a movie. We get to be with each other to talk and taste in between and clean together and laugh for no reasons, gasp for any spoils and awe at the final product and even go around making everyone taste it and pose pictures together and and and and…. there are way too many ‘ANDs’ when we are in the kitchen together.
He is very interactive at his best when he becomes our head chef!!

the batter is almost ready!

the batter is almost ready!

I helped him dissolve all lumps and put the mixture inside a double boiler rice cooker… And here we are 40 mins later-

oops!! was is this Weikfield???

oops!! was is this Weikfield???

OH MY GOD! what just happened here??? I have buried a few craters with the left over cocoa powder and anardana aka Pomegranate seeds. I was too embarrassed to even share the pic on our family wats app group…
At this moment of disaster lemme apologize to Pillsbury for I ditched them for Weikfield

Promising my 2018’s new soul to stick to tried and loved products.
But it was fun…

For one day my son will grow up
For one day he will love his life with freedom
For one day I shall be cooking his favorite meal all alone
For one day he shall look back at the blogs and pics and hug me tight
For one day WE shall re-connect and bake a cake all again
And that day… I shall churn the box mix with my fragile trembling hands and he will help me set the right temp.
Temperature of being and feeling loved again!

to my lovely son and all the mothers who love cooking with their kids

in other news... this also happened in the same week!

in other news… this also happened in the same week!

Love,
Kunj

potty training my toddler

As simple as it sounds, it’s the most difficult thing I have done for Dhruvaan. I heard so many friends doing it at 6 months or 11 months and even at 2 years! While I was sitting here on four-leg stool after 4 years of motherhood trying to finally achieve it.
Well, I take the blame entirely on myself. I was always more concerned on developing traits such as empathy and values and thought potty training will happen on it’s own. I will also blame a teeny weeny bit on my son for always fnding it secur eto do it in his underpants and diapers rather than on the potty seat. I had to pay for it in a hard way when D was about to turn 4, going to begin a new schooling year in an entire new school 2 months later and also going to be the last of his friends to be trained to use the potty seat on his own.

he has had pressures at the most awkward places

he has had pressures at the most awkward places

Sometime in March I began working as a full time professor and hence my laid back nature became a worry! How will he manage at the bigger school where he will be staying for half a day! What will happen to him if he feels the pressure to vacate in the school hours? Or worse, on his bus ride which is about 30 mins long. I could totally trust my mother in law to take care of him in my absence while at home but what in school? I was afraid he will feel ashamed for not being able to casually use the toilet like other kids.
We were already off diapers before he was 3 years old but potty… he was shit scared of sitting on a seat and using it. He would rather stand aloof in a corner and finish it in his training pants and expect me or my m-i-l to do the cleaning part for him.

so i had to think of an idea

so i had to think of an idea

Every time someone wondered why I couldn’t potty train him yet, I always replied; ‘it can wait’
I started learning more of it on Pinterest – how to potty train in 12 easy steps. how to train in less than 48 hours !! And they were many in number.

We read books together and got him to try and sit while I sat in front of him showing him a perfect body language to push it out…
it didn’t help. George influenced him but couldn’t help him instantly.

awomansays

A week later I came across an app called “potty training game” by Russpuppy.

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This was the game changer. He played it so many times that probably he got a feel how easy it was for everyone to vacate when the need arises.

awomansays

More than anything else my secondary reason to download this was because it had a bear who played and played and went to the loo when needed… same was the story base of the book we were reading that he played and played and ran back home to use the loo when he felt the need.

awomansays

The storyline connection really helped. He was trained in about a couple of days only some time in May 2017 and he began school in June 2017. Writing the post in September just to confirm the practice was consistent. We no longer use the app; but I must say the results are apt to what it should be doing and also inculcating the good habits post vacating.

awomansays

This makes me feel what a wonderful thing technology is. I must have been taunted by a handful of people on why I shouldn’t be giving my mobile phone to the kiddo… well said, but #facepalm it helped me solve a major issue which your taunts didn’t help solve. #highfive

THANK YOU GEORGE

THANK YOU GEORGE


OR WHATEVER YOUR ACTUAL NAME IS.

Moral of the story:
1. you kid will learn to poop only when he/she is confident himself/herself
2. Technology is good better and best if you know how to use it wisely
3. animals (more specifically bears) teach us a lot
4. it’s okay for a mom to get help from outside. Not every mom has to be a perfect trainer.

cheers!
Kunj

17 times my toddler ruined my pictures!

So a lot of toddlers love to pose, they are like epic little humans who are a pro at handling props!
and my child is not like that ! I take about 1GB of useless pics until I get one single shot right ! and I don’t know why he has to test my patience and ruin it all. He has ruined my pictures so many times but I have carefully selected the best 17 least embarrassing pics.

17 times my toddler ruined my pics.
NOTE: click on pics to view them whole.

1. When I ask them to pose in the gigantic chairs:

ya, this is fab, right !!

ya, this is fab, right !!

2. they actually pretend to be asleep! like; how rude is that ?
he has done this several times over, like here…

antique chair n antique pose

antique chair n antique pose

after this I felt I was the only one super excited about finding old furniture, older than (me) myself!

3. When they just can’t sit still !!!

whose kids are these?

whose kids are these?

this gets on my nerves every single time! And I have to angrily whisper to him to sit like a normal kid does. but… nope ! he won’t cause he isn’t one! great genes displayed here 🙂

4. When they ruin your favorite moments:

is this really my kid?

is this really my kid?

this is the only picture of this painting I have in my cam! I really wanted a good pic but hey, I have a kid. The museum was really crowded and I waited so long to take a good shot but my own flesh and blood made sure to shine like a star in it.

5. the same story here too- and the reason he gave me was- ” I was bored at the museum” !! what the F is that?
FYI, I love museums.. I would prefer doing a city historical tour instead of a swim in pool or even shopping.

for those who definitely can't make out- it's a Buddha meditating .

for those who definitely can’t make out- it’s Buddha meditating .

6. When I ask him to pose:

awomansays

7. caterpillars and butterflies:

second from right

second from right

what’s wrong? why is it so difficult to stand and smile?? are there caterpillars inside your tee??

8. When I ask him to pout:

FYI, he knows what a pout means

FYI, he knows what a pout means

He loves to mess with mumma’s pics!!

9. selfies??? meh !!

grab the nose and squash it!

grab the nose and squash it!

10.not interested bugger..

my tribe!

my tribe!

this was at their last sports day at pre school… no, they didn’t win anything :/

11. capturing a social media post:
ruining the post pic-

i posted it anyways on instagram- awomansays

i posted it anyways on instagram- awomansays

12. No second chances:
this is the only pic I have with his favorite teacher- his principal. 2 years and only 1 pic, a ruined one too !

:/ :(

:/ 🙁

13. When I wanted to capture his cute look of the day!
take that momma !!

new haircut?? where??

new haircut?? where??

14. Ruining a historic moment !

This is Dal lake, Kashmir ! I don’t know whether we will ever be able to go back there with the (on-going )civil disturbance … but this is the only pic at Dal Lake we have. Something he will be proud of when he grows up. only if he could have posed well…
awomansays

15. When u show them a dream:
My husband n I want him to be a pilot or astronaut or even astro-physicist some day… spot n win prizes!!

spot and win prizes.

16. At cousin’s wedding:
U will understand If you have attended hindu weddings… have fun!

family picture time

family picture time

17. Old MacDonald fan?

EeAaEeAa-O .. I only asked him to sit on the tractor and pose like old macdonald rhyme videos :

what great sportsman spirit !

what great sportsman spirit !

Send me pics of your toddlers when They ruined your favorite backgrounds and moments!!
email to info@awomansays.com

or/and stay in touch with us on facebook
and instagram

cheers!
love,
Kunj

AWS reviews: sea animal capsules

So here we are on a really hot summer evening and where i live, there are no breezy evenings to feel better. my son is almost always dressed in boxers and a vest all day long.
He gets super bored in afternoons when we curfew his movements outside the house to play around, so to being in some joy in his already joyous life i bought this packet of 12 sea animals capsules that i found on a rack at a gift store. am not really a fan of magical toys but what the heck! anything to make my baby happy. YO!
and i thought of doing a review for my readers.

i bought it for 80rs. and it has 12 capsules paper minted pack in various colors.

sorry for the impatience my son has

sorry for the impatience my son has

my impatient baby tore it open before i could take a picture but it looked good whatsoever.
these capsules need to be placed in water where the upper plastic like layer dissolves and a foam like material in a sea animal shape pops up, and floats on water like a normal sponge does.
next:
we got a bowl of water excitedly and removed the capsules from the minted packs… put them in water.. saw it floating…
saw it floating…
saw it floating… … …

they wont magically blow up into sea animals!! huhhh//////

while waiting we even played a guessing game on what we shall find in each one of them:

high expectations

high expectations

D had high hopes they WILL open up but by that time i lost my patience and opened them up myself! the plastic covering had to be manually removed.
and I recorded the entire thing and put it right here….

awomansays review: sea animals capsules

TADA!!
well, i am not youtuber mommy, bare me with the quality. i am still learning and i shall be better next time.
p.s reminding myself to record horizontal next time.

reviews:
it costed me 80 bucks, definitely not a buy if it takes so long for the magic to happen.
also, the packaging was not really high graded , per se the amount i paid for it. could have been better.
12 capsules but most of them were repetitive. kids dont touch things that repeat!
they also come in other styles such as animals etc. will try them for a lesser price.

worth a buy? well, maybe once if such things excite our baby and he/she is patient enough.

what else: makes a good birthday return gift considering the value and idea.

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thank you
and help me spread some love.

Kunj
xoxo

dear son

A week before you turned 4 I received a report card from your teacher who said you need more practice holding a pencil and writing numerals and alphabets… not that you don’t know how to trace them but you need help if you have to write your them on your own.. she told me you are moody and would do your homework and class work pencil writing only when asked to. Otherwise you are a good boy and your wide smile is precious to the class. You are shy but once a friend you share your sunshine with them. But you need to know how to write alphabets on your own, you will be asked to write 3 letter words K-1 onwards you see. you paint and color very well, you can write too but…

making animals with wings in sand.

making animals with wings in sand.

I understand the pressure upon writing with pencil and the fact that alphabets need to be written to prove you are a smart student, those who came to know about your remarks asked me to buy you books that help tracing with pencil practice better and asking me to enroll you to a tuition class to start writing. The remarks from less important people were harsh and sounded like personal space invading threats but … dear son, you must know that none of the above affects me when I think about you as a growing person.
I have seen you grow like a man in the last one year and I am super proud of what you are becoming.
I have seen you empathize for strangers, I have seen you helping your classmates, I have seen you show respect to shopkeepers, vendors and maids. I have seen you sharing what is yours with your closest ones. I have seen you sacrifice on your most favorites for your friends.

a dream you are cultivating

a dream you are cultivating

I have seen you wear your clothes and remove the soiled ones, putting them carefully in the machine all on your own. I have seen you eat your food and making sure you have no leftovers, I have seen you denying a third or at times a second helping too just because you are aware you don’t want to waste food because a many of them won’t get dinner before bed.

my fave pic of my men together

my fave pic of my men together

I have seen you motivated to learn to ride a cycle and ride it in a few hours on your own. I have seen you walking 6kms up the mountain without throwing a tantrum. I have seen you ride a horse for the first time and that too for 20 kms without being scared. You trusted us when papa n I said we won’t let you fall down. I have seen you be a sport when I asked you to jump in the pool with me with cold water in 13degrees outside. I have seen you ride a sledge in snow like you will meet santa on the other end. I have seen you give me a helping hand when I was scared of jumping on a shikara that was shaking. I have seen you adjust on a night jungle safari at -2degrees. I have seen you walk gracefully to pat a wild bear untamed, unchained and feed her jaggery.

my brave one

my brave one

I see you grow everyday the way you will face the world, and whether you ace at writing 3 letter words with pencil or not, baby you have already made me proud of who you are and who you choose to be while you are growing up. You are our shadow and yet you are on your own a soul so different from us. Dear son, as you turn 4 I am happy you choose to call me mom and PG your dad. D, we could not have asked god to bless us with a purer soul than yours. Thank you for making sure there are exactly 1460(4 years) memories that make me proud of you rather than just 26 alphabets that prove you are a good student.

happy birthday little man

happy birthday little man

Happy 4th birthday dear son.

toddler visits walnut factory

so here we were in a super chilled Kashmir in 2016 holidaying with a bunch of wonderful people.. about 17 of us! we didn’t wanna go back.
when i went to Kerela i thought there is nothing so heavenly like this place on earth, and then i went to kashmir a few years later and i knew there is nothing more beautiful than Kashmir. we loved the snow, the warmth and hospitality of people there and the food and the landscapes. it was a dream destination for my husband. his bucket list 2016 has kashmir written in bold letters and we made it to the most beautiful place on earth last year. upon our return we had our flights from Jammu after a two day stay at Vaishnodevi, Katara. Jammu was super hot, as if we are back to ahmedabad. whilst we were there in the city we caught up with some friend’s friends who happened to own a walnut factory there. they had farmers who would sell the whole walnuts to them and they would then break it and sort out according to size and color and package them likewise.

here is a brief post on ‘ my toddler visits walnut factory ‘ in pics.

i had these pics saved and stored on my phone and never really thought about writing and posting on it… recently D saw these and immediately recalled the entire sorting and packaging process i showed him. i was quite glad that this lad who can’t even make a W on his notebook without help could remember the entire sorting and packaging process at a walnut factory! no doubt he surprises me every time and i pen it down on the blog. the little brat doesn’t eat a walnut but knows the shells can be used in a facial and the kernels for oil besides eating.
kids of the 21st generation!!!

here is a pic by pic toddler visits walnut factory story.

totally nuts 'family'

totally nuts ‘family’

the humongous office of the factory consisted of very interesting facts and figures, on how to identify your good and bad nut according to size, texture and color. there are so many kinds of walnuts in itself! did ya know ? i didn’t! and i am glad now my son knows it too. we can show it off at school meetings. hahaha and now you can download this pic from our pinterest page and do some showing your knowledge yourself too!

hansraj walnuts

hansraj walnuts

the humble hansraj family we visited who treated us with a factory tour and the most delicious north indian breakfast that actually kept me full till the evening. the size of the rasgulla they served was bigger than my son’s fist.

awomansays

the sorting happened in huge heaps, had it been my dad’s factory i would have jumped and swam in it like old duck uncle scrooge.

just cracking it up

just cracking it up

lovely ladies who were cracking the medium sized lot for us to relish while we walked by the huge sorting and packaging machines.

brains??

brains??

the rainwater harvested walnuts freshly cracked are the sweetest of all, and i am so so glad and thankful to the hansraj family who showed us around and treated us like their own family.
ever grateful to our friends who took us there for a visit.

the airport selfie @jammu

the airport selfie @jammu

the strolling got my little kangaroo tired. safe flight.

slept through the entire fly time

slept through the entire fly time

now this memory is etched on the world wide web.

cheers!
happy weekend.