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Mothers Day Rant

I don’t want to post a mother’s day picture if it means more on a particular hot day of May and not enough through out the year. Honestly, I have nothing against all those beautiful mom pics on social media the entire Sunday. It helps… those pretty happy faces and writings.. it helps! It seriously does. Because for one day my mind was derailed from the COVID lockdown news and the deaths and the boys locker room reports and the daily DIYS and recipe pics. It was a refreshing change before Monday happened. 

I know moms are strong, its not an easy to dilate 10 cms and get that 3kg pushed out finally after so many months or live with those few CS stitches for the rest of your life. But moms are also weak. Weaker than anyone knows. These aren’t random personal thoughts but careful observations of moms I have seen… Moms of all ages. 

A mom cannot teach her daughter to go punch the mohalla ka bully boy; she is expected to go talk to the brother or father of the family to handle the situation. She handles the entire house and its occupants for free every single day, why is it that she can’t handle this?

A mom cannot teach her son to cook for living, she is expected to cook extra meals and remind her child that she can re-heat and serve if her son has mid-meal hunger pangs. 

A mom cannot encourage daughters to count herself as equal to sons, because, hello! The entire nation has dirty things to say to women who enter boys locker rooms. In real or virtual. 

A mom cannot encourage her sons to play with dolls or wear pink, because, hello! The entire nation has comments to write and say that pulls down the kid’s confidence which shall now take years to build again. 

What can you as an individual do for your mothers to make her feel special?

Don’t just let an international date tell you when to celebrate all that your mom has done for you.

Don’t let your spouses decide what you want to gift your moms (both the moms) on birthdays and special occasions. Pick up something yourself with a careful thought. 

Do your own chores. She will be more happy to see you be independent. 

Bake her a cake not on mothers day and birthdays only… bake her something nice when she has menstrual cramps. That is when she needs comfort the most. 

Be friends with her friends and let your friends be her friends too. Let her feel she belongs in your circle of happiness. 

Follow her advice if you can. She says so by experience. If you cannot, explain your point of view to her. I am sure she will understand. 

Let her choose a holiday destination, her Sunday meal restaurant, her choice of movie and go with her. She has the right to choose for herself after all these years when she chose to do what you would enjoy.

Call her everyday even if you are in the same city. 

And… 

Tell her how much you miss her randomly. 

Not just in #mothersday posts. 

what shouldn’t be worn to an interview?

I remember giving my first ever interview… this was way back in 2006; i had only cleared my 12th class, a common thing here where I live, one got to finish school and then maybe do an internship or gain some small experience. I had done literature as my major subject in high school… so I was pretty confident I would be perfect for a tutoring class who needed some freelance teaching help for literary studies. I reached the place on time and gave some awesome answers when asked about Chaucer to Shakespeare. Little did I know I had totally messed up by going there in a pair of blue jeans and white tee with sneakers and hair up in a bun. I have super frizzy curls, but never knew how to maintain the mane back in those days. I never got a call back from the tutoring class and I am glad I didn’t get that job. Few months later I was sitting in a vibrant LIVE studio and hosting my own show on radio. I had dressed similar for the radio interview and made it to the shortlisted ones with a team comprising of freshers and experienced people, with me being the youngest one ever- at 19 !

the right-most one

the right-most one

It was only later when I had some grooming classes that were a part of my mentoring did I realize I didn’t get the tutoring job because I was never dressed for the interview. It never crossed my mind that every job profile requires one to dress up for the occasion. Our corporate world revolves around much more than the degree certificates you carry in a file. With the new age methods of interview rounds, one is expected to be well dressed every single minute. You never know when you receive a telephone call saying they are video calling you in the next 5 minutes for your dream job profile and the 5mins are also allotted so you can find a disturbance-free zone with good internet connectivity. So what exactly do I mean with being interview-ready all the time??

Let’s decode what comes under formals and casual dressing that can be part of your wardrobe staple
– suits : if you are appearing for a senior profile job in an official environment like an office or any company premises
– blazers : if you are appearing for a senior profile job but meeting your interviewer in a cafe or over coffee at a club
– formal trousers and shirt : for all job profiles; suitable for all premises. infact, a well ironed pair of pants and full sleeved shirt ( preferably plain) makes a good impact
– Kurta and straight pants : for women who are not very comfortable wearing pants & shirt. Also, if you are appearing for a teaching job or a nursing assistant
– Dark colored Straight Simple Denims and Plain Block-colored Collared tee when meeting the interviewer very informally at their residence, for a media house as a freelance, a writer with the publisher at a cafe or any informal situation.

one from the picture bank

one from the picture bank

What needs to be strictly avoided
– ragged or narrow jeans and round neck/v-neck tees : definitely a no-no. reserve those for your relaxed weekends and fun night outs with friends unless you want a job for a disc jockey or a drug dealer
– simple anarkali and heavy duppata dresses : simple dresses would still be ok for a banking job or as a sales staff; the heavy dresses and flowy anarkalis shall have to wait for personal occasions and not the workplace… the interviewer is looking for an employee and not a light bulb who can light the entire office
– bright prints and colors : these aren’t your fancy thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, an interviewer needs to listen to your answers and not count the number or colors and prints on your clothes
– golds and silvers : well, include bronze as well… no medal shiny metal colors in clothes please! keep your Diwali clothes at far distance

Accessorize it well
– metal watches/straps : its fantastic to have a luxurious life but certainly no right to go bling and cling with metals on your wrist
– too many ring-a-ding : one finger ring is just perfect, do not stack them all in each finger; no-rings at all is also cool- just don’t go wearing a fake one! more importantly , no one would be interested in seeing anything chunky
– formal footwear : proper formal shoes if wearing trousers-shirt and plain block colored bellies for women wearing Indian outfit
– hair accessories : just enough to look tidy, a neat haircut and a cleansing wash before the main day is advisable
– socks : if you are wearing formal shoes, a pair of fresh socks is mandatory. If you are wearing bellies or front closed flats I suggest wear socks that do not show. Trust me, stripes and polka dots peeping out from strappy sandals pisses off the interviewer
– handkerchief : carry a clean one and use it wisely
– files and folders : all your important papers and certificates need to be carried in a neat folder, preferably one that looks executive and best if it has a leather finish
– ties : wear a tie that matches your shirt, stripes and plain are always a safe zone. However, a fancy print with a beer mug or a simpson would be great too if you are going to be interviewed as a music show host or rap artist
– spectacles : a simple sturdy frame with clean glasses is expected
– jewelry : minimum of jewelry and maximum of confidence is a #winwin in any situation. Simple studs or a thin gold bracelet, a leather strap watch and maybe if you are wearing something for a religious purpose you would be just finely impressive

in general

in general

Remember, it takes only 30 secs to scan a candidate and 31st second to reject the person only from the appearance.
Following all these tips is going to help you, but certainly not going to fetch you the job for which you shall be need to answer questions with confidence and trust your knowledge and degrees. It’s like a great commercial movie… the script as well as the production and packaging has to be great to make it reach the 100cr club.

Color Scheme :
oranges, neons and bright shades should strictly be avoided unless going for staff picnics and after dinner parties
Its’s best to stick to safer colors like shades of blue, white and black, gray to charcoal paired with maroon or purple or a pastel pink… a pastel green with a creamish white would look classy as well… a hint of yellow would add a pretty sunshine and make you look vibrant and confident but promise me you won’t tag in to some office wearing yellow pants! oh pretty please; even the thought is funny.

While at my previous workplaces, I have had a chance to interview many young enthusiasts during their RJ walk-in auditions and even groomed more than 500 students for interviews, it isn’t a difficult task to find the right pair to impress your interviewer.

Here are a few tips to polish the right look:

– wear a light scent
– pick a darker shade of shirt if you are going to sweat on your way to the place of interview
– get rid of your facial hair or keep it to bare minimum for men, trimmed to shape for women and completely smooth waxed limbs would look perfect
– add a dash of red if your outfit is of lighter shade
– do not offer to pay if you are meeting at a cafe or over meals
– chapped lips are not acceptable at all
– do not be brand conscious but make sure the fabrics are breathable, no sheer fabrics and no collarless shirts
– you do not need big logos screaming from your outfit
– a stubble is good but trim it well
– keep a pair or two of well ironed outfits separate for an interview that can be scheduled anytime
– if you aren’t well acquainted with what colors to match… simply go to any store and ask the trained sales staff to help you match. they have been trained to give the best opinion

– some brands i personally like are Louis Philippe , allen solly , W for woman , Aks by Nidhi , Arrow , fable street , some really nice make up by nykaa, iba halal and lakme 9 to 5 are available on nykaa website and app

Hope this pretty longish post helps you, do comment and leave any queries you have or wish to share an experience of yours for others who stop by,

Love n Happiness
Kunj 🙂

time- an essay

Lemme tell you a story. There was once a King who befriended a poor villager from his large kingdom. He met this poor friend on a very clear morning when the sun was shining and the birds were chirping but this man was resting under a tree and looking at his sheep eat grass… The King went up to him and asked him what does he do in his free time when the sheep are’t feeding themselves? The poor Shepherd explained how he rests the whole day while his wife looks after the sheep and its wool farming. The King thought the shepherd deserves a chance to be happy in his kingdom so he tells the shepherd to go to his palace and fetch as much gold and gems that he can ever fill and start living a better life. But a condition was also latched that the shepherd can have his time in the palace treasury only till sunset, after which his opportunity closes. The shepherd who was resting under a tree jumped up with excitement and thanked the King, ran towards his home and narrated the incident to his wife who was equally overjoyed and fetched him 4 big sacks to be filled up with gold coins and gems. The shepherd noticed that lunch was almost ready and insisted his wife to serve him lunch first since he had a long journey to the palace and back home and he would need a lot of energy for the same. He had his lunch and started walking towards the palace. On his way he met a few fellow villagers who sought to figure out the reason for shepherds’ sudden gait and happy face. The shepherd thought he has some time and stopped by to answer their curious minds. A little later he started walking towards the palace, by this time the sun was high in the sky and made the shepherd sweaty and tired so he decided to rest for sometime under the shade of a tree. It was already late afternoon and a few hours before sunset when the shepherd opened his eyes and realized he had dozed off under the tree so he huffed and he puffed and he ran towards the palace. He could see the gates from a distance and only prayed the sun would be up for some more time! Sadly, when he reached the gates of the treasury the sun had begun its journey to rest for the day… the entire sky was red and the shepherd was sad. He knew he lost his golden chance because he could not value the preciousness of time. He decided to meet the King and apologize but he was too ashamed for he slept on his way. Sad and lost, he returned home to his sheep and poverty and his wife who had been dreaming of gems and jewels all day long.

The moral of the story? Value time. I wont be 30 next year, It wont be 2nd August 2018 ever again. Grab the opportunities that come to you, whether you are a mom or planning to be one. I have been fortunate enough to be able to find work and projects of my interest after have a baby and I was confident to take it and be the best version of myself. Not many have the courage to get back to work, I meet so many moms at all those birthday parties and parent teacher meetings, I meet mothers who are far more learned and experienced but decide not to join back to work after being a mother. In some cases it’s the family who discourage and in other cases it is again the same family who never encourage. With a little jolt of confidence a mother can do wonders since she is hard working, compassionate, intelligent and dedicated AF. She can run an enterprise if given the right support but they lose the battle even before they are on a battleground because no one supports her cause. Time and chances, once gone, never comes back. Why must not women stand up and look for jobs and start ups that are flexible to her roles back home as well!!

awomansays

I personally support mothers who work and who own their small business. I buy their products, I recommend them to others. All this just because I know how difficult it is sistaa to be able to run a business and a home simultaneously. And no matter how much money you are making at the end it will always be about the satisfaction of being able to juggle it all. If you are into any business or work profile please do message me on instagram and tell me about it, even if you are doing something at home and needs a shout out. I will do whatever I can to spread the word and help you. Value your youth and value your time. Life has no expiry date until we decide it ourselves. Be courageous and fear not for potholes may come and go but you shall only be stronger when you stand up from each fall.

LOVE,
Kunj

“SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL FOR THE WAY SHE THOUGHT. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL FOR THE SPARKLE IN HER EYES WHEN SHE TALKED ABOUT SOMETHING SHE LOVED. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL FOR HER ABILITY TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SMILE, EVEN IF SHE WAS SAD. NO, SHE WASN’T BEAUTIFUL FOR SOMETHING AS TEMPORARY AS HER LOOKS. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL DEEP DOWN TO HER SOUL.” – F.SCOTT FITZGERALD

Turning into 7

So my husband and I just completed 6 blissful years of marriage. I have written about PG and me very often on the website but not quite sure if I have mentioned this earlier, nevertheless… everything is cuddly n cheesy on the anniversary day. 🙂
The anniversary date was falling on a Monday so like good parents and responsible workoholics we decided to visit a small deli for a snack and a late night movie on Sunday. He wasn’t sure if it was our 6th or 7th anniversary … and I jokingly added that we have had many people in our family and friend circle who were joining in all odds to make sure we didn’t even make it together for our 1st anniversary; we should throw a party for all of them and feed them for their defeat.
Am I the only one who thinks Indians are nossy?? That there is a squad of 100 relatives who want to play a crucial role in deciding who the young buds of the family should marry!!
Getting back to keeping the post mushy, our pic to mark the 7th official year to commence with.

clicking away at someone else's wedding.

clicking away at someone else’s wedding.

so how does one survive more than half a decade together and that too happily?
my little list of how to be married & happy:

To begin with, turning into 7 th year of marriage wasn’t difficult at all… what was difficult was to be happy and content.

1. be natural : right from the beginning show your bare Heart and Mind to your other half. It may be difficult for him/her to accept certain habits and affinity that make you a weirdo initially but love & attraction is on a high in those same initial years so the weirdness is easily accepted and apprehended as a natural occurrence and nothing disgusts/irritates the spouse later on. Instead, when you ain’t doing your bizarre stuff is when your partner will know something has gone wrong and you need help. ‘

2. count the spouse as a blessing in your life: turning into 7 , this is one thing I swear works and sticking on to it will prove fruitful during the 10th, 25th or even 50th anniversary (if you are alive and ready to cut the cake with dentures). Even today, on days when I am angry, frustrated or even PMS-ing I look at my husband NOT as someone who has no understanding of women but as a blessing that balances my life. I give a vague thought to what would have life been without this anchor in my life. He has been send as a blessing that I never count when I thank God for all the other happiness HE has showered on me & my family.
Life could have been better had I married someone else or fallen in love with someone else but one never knows… it could have been worse too !! how can I discount the fact that I have lived such beautiful memories with my husband and there are infinite of those in the future too. Count your spouse as a blessing in your life, just the way you are thankful for having wonderful parents or nature around you or the numerous materialistic pleasures.

3. learn to feel his pain: be a part of his worries and his dilemmas. Learn to share his pain as much as you would love to be a part of his celebrations. There is nothing that a human wants more than to share life with someone who can feel his pain or share his worries with. Try and see if you can help. On days and times when you cannot help but want them to know you care and feel pain, just cook a warm meal or stay awake with them without saying a word while they are working away late nights… they will appreciate you for being THE perfect ONE.

courtesy : google

courtesy : google

4. invest into something really expensive together: this way, there is nothing mine and yours to fight about. Everything remains “ours” to celebrate with. And by this I do not mean having a baby! the baby will soon grow up and move on its path and you will be left with a void that can end with a separation after 2 or so decades… by investing I mean in a club membership or a holiday or a property that you both can proud to show off and enjoy it together. A good investment only demands your money once, and proves fruitful for the rest of your life- like a harras of horses or a yatch or even a farmhouse/weekend home.

a random one...

a random one…

5. growth is just a number: never count how many years you spend together, how many days you need to celebrate like 8 years since you proposed me, and 10 years since you first told me you love me etc… they wont seem attractive sooner or later… instead count your blessings together, check how much have you grown together as a couple. the grey hair and wrinkles will definitely grow and so will the love an understanding to an infinite level.

moments to cherish...

moments to cherish…

6. surprise them: simple to understand and more simple to follow it, surprise them once in a while by baking their favorite cake or just a dinner at his/her favorite place. Nothing romantic or mushy (although a pinch of it never hurts!) but just a surprising gesture to show how much you love and care. I send him flowers for no reason, he takes me to my favorite coffee shop where we do not speak a word or chat on the way but being there in front of him sipping away my favorite brew is a feeling more achieved than words at times…

from one of my favorites...

from one of my favorites…

the husband and i

the husband and I

i was JUST DONE with a crazy long Monday and was quite sure things would simmer down on Tuesday , where the brat would crib why school cannot be missed. and the husband would wake up hastily and leave the house and give me some peace. important things and meetings always happen on Monday, the dudhwala is always late on a Monday morning, and the superman maid is quite sleepy and slow. but not on a Tuesday, that day things start settling down. i woke up on time and started cooking. salad on Tuesday for the brat’s school tiffin. and mixed veg gujarati minus the sugar with lots of kitchen king and roti for the husband.
but this Tuesday seemed like a hangover from Monday… he started giving me sleepy looks and turned around such as to pose a crocodile yogasan giving me cues he won’t drop our son to the school today!. oh lord, not again. when will he realize the 3 year old that looks like him is actually his real son and he should be responsible towards him and his school schedule.

nevertheless i woke the brat up and asked him go to the washroom, wash his hands, wash his face , now say eeeew so that i can see your teeth and brush them well. now stand straight so that i can pull out the clothes. now don’t laugh while i scrub your armpits, now dried and now wear the underwear yourself. you can do that , right. no you don’t need me ! do it yourself as pinterest says !! now stand straight and look up while i comb your hair, now drink your milk while i strap your shoes. fast fast , no slowly, don’t choke yourself! husband is still on the bed looking at us from the corner of his eye. like he thinks i don’t know he is awake and still doing his famous crocodile asana. uff, I do my famous long and short jumps gathering things and dumping them in his yellow n blue bag while the kid is sipping milk like its scotch on the rocks, slowwwwwwlllyyy…
hey bhagwan, why did I marry Mr. PG?
Had he told me earlier he won’t help me with the kid’s stuff I would have… never mind, i love him still.

so i do my strides and marathon and the kid reaches school on time, i kiss him good bye and he waves me like the cutest ever chimpanzee !
when i come home my husband calls me cute names and says he needs a favor. i was in no mood to do all that cutie pie stuff in the morning, he senses it when i don’t respond to his smiles… so he told me directly: ‘ kunj, i need that long green stick type gift that is wrapped with a red shiny ribbon and that what is kept on office tables for prosperity thing types’
i stare at him and wanted to call him a pighead but i curbed my wishes and asked him instead to google and show me a picture so that i can understand what alien thing sits on a table for prosperity, i will literally cover my entire home with it if its true.
he could not find a green stick with red ribbon for prosperity online. even google got the joke. hi-fi !!
few minutes later he called from inside the bathroom and says its some chinese vastu shashtra and it comes in a glass bowl and it’s probably also a plant. i rolled my eyes and said ‘ are you looking for a bamboo shoot that stands straight in a glass bowl?’ ‘yes honey you are so smart, now go run and get me one from that nursery on the other side of the road’

‘are u crazy, at this hour ??’ i asked… ‘yup, please baby. i want to gift it to a client today. he is very important…’ when he saw i wasn’t responding to his baby names, he added ‘… i am planning a europe trip next summer for the three of us. ‘

bugger, here he does it again.

ten minutes later i am at the nursery in my track pants and a silly tied up high bun on the head asking for the feng shui bamboo plant which the still sleepy care taker didn’t have. went to a posh gift shop next door and asked if he has one too. they had dreamcatchers and laughing buddha statues so i called the brat’s dad and asked if a dreamcatcher is okay to be gifted to the client. my husband thinks dreamcatchers are for girls, yes, like bamboo has a ‘i am for men’ label… oh lord, had i known this before i would have married… never mind, i still love him.
when i reached home, PG was dressed in his best white shirt and proclaimed he is the best looking dude in his office. of course, i smiled. i still loved this disorganized man i thought while i poured myself a chai and sat with my smart phone to finish the online cafe store orders for the day. yes, i cook some exotic dishes there, some i can’t even pronounce. while i was on the verge of earning 325 dollars for a tea with tapioca and cardamom and fee diamonds for the hospitality from a strange looking aged man my dream game was interrupted with a call from PG.

‘go find the bamboo plant in a glass bowl and drive to my office immediately. see you. love you. bye.’

fifteen minutes later i saw the pending work in the kitchen and cursed the aged man and 325 dollars tea while i closed the main door shut and slipped into the driving seat, reached the nearest flower shop and purchased the greenest looking bamboo plant with red ribbon around and green soft shoots placed in a glass bowl and colorful pebbles. paid and got it tied in a transparent sheet. few songs on radio and i was in my best mood ever, now i only wished to have a starbucks in hand and a sports car. i did find a plant and i was so super proud to have reached his office in straight 30 mins after he called. like a pizza delivery on time. or the maid who comes home after a 30 day holiday ! hahahahaha
i was in my best maxi dress, wavy hair and black slim glares. he saw my car, he saw the plant in my hand, he said ‘perfect’ , turned around and left. what the …. bleep bleep bleep!
he called me later and i complained, he said ‘… sorry babes, was in a hurry. but have you ever looked bad? you are the best looking wife…’
‘you ever had? ‘ i asked.
we laughed and he thanked me for being so helpful. ‘ i am your jeevan sangini after all. ‘, i smiled and said.
if only i knew this guy would make me run on a weekday like its the last day of the financial year for things that he should have planned the day before and like its not even my duty to make sure his client gets gifts … i would have married… him! just him.

summer , winter, rain or fall
you are the one i always call.
happy 5th anniversary hubby !

love,
kunj.

To son, love, Mom.

its my son’s third birthday and i was have been busy making a list of friends to invite and menu to decide; cake to order and arrangements be made. how much will i be able to shell out asks my mind… lol, its your son’s birthday… dont think twice! replies the heart.
we possibly do everything for them. right from nine months of pregnancy and sickness, going through hours of labor pain, sleepless nights of feedings, washing and cleaning the feeding and cooking and picking up and dropping them to schools and events and revising for tests and preparing for big exams and paying for grad studies and planning a wedding and paying for the honeymoon and adjusting with the newly weds and taking care through sickness… and in health… in rains and in winters!! what is left out?? nothing!

dear son,

you are three years old now. what a maddening and lovely 36 months these were. i have never been through so much of pain when you were born and i have never ever been so happy the moment you were born. so for all the labor pain i went through your first smile paid for it. now u don’t need to go through similar pain when i grow old and tired.
remember those nights when you peed on my clothes and got all the sheets dirty too?? never mind the frustrations of the night cleaning. you just paid for it when u searched for a water closet at a party two months back and decided only to do it there. you did it all by yourself including tucking the shirt in and just paid for my sleepless nights. i am proud of you son. now you don’t need to stay awake all night long when i grow old… give me a chance to learn on my own too.
two years back i mashed your first food apart from my feed… today you call me your best friend and the best cook, and you just paid for all the labor i did in the kitchen by proudly announcing it to our family and your friends. now u don’t need to mash or make my food to return the favor when i grow old. you have already made me happy at the age of three.
when you first received a wound while playing with your friends you hugged me and cried and let my hugs and kisses heal you from within. you trusted me while i helped you clean the wound and gave me a kiss in return. dear son, when i grow old i don’t need your hard earned money to heal my aged wounds; let’s just hug and kiss again and let me return your love with a kiss that time.
i would hang up a client’s call and let the vegetables burn on the stove when you needed me to patiently help you wear your own clothes. treat me with the same patience when i grow old. i don’t want you to shout at your wife or call a maid for me, i only want you to patiently wait for five more minutes while i struggle to close the buttons or tie the lace. let’s just smile and encourage each other all the time.
oh what a beautiful day it was when you came back from your first school trip and you would just not stop babbling about all the fun you had. my son, there will be more trips and stories to share when i shall send you to a bigger school and a better college. i shall work hard and pay so you can weave a lot of memories in future. but when you start working, just call me once a day and keep on sharing them like you do everyday right now. i don’t want a part of your salary; i only want to listen to what memories you made today. i know you shall make me proud some day and i want to be a part of those memorable days and not a part of your paycheck.
for all the soiled shoes and plates and dirty laundry i do for you everyday ensures you are growing up fine and healthy and happy! for all the pain i go through you pay for it everyday with your hugs and kisses and smiles and laughter and trust and tugging into my arms and sharing stories and playing with me and holding my hand and breathing on my face while sleeping on my shoulder… aaahhhh!!! i am already being paid back instantly for all the things i do for you. thank you for loving me back. i shall keep on loving you all my life my son. now you don’t need to cook and clean and pay for my medicines when i grow old. you have already made me happy and proud and i am sure you shall love me the same when you grow tall and i lean on my three foot stick.
just call me once a day and share what you did, make me laugh and be my friend. that’s all i ask for.

you have already made feel like the best mom. you have already brought in lots of happiness in my life. my son, a woman goes through various phases in her life and being your mom has been my best phase ever! so love me back and hug me more. kiss me tight and call me more.
you are just three… so we have more memories to make and i have more letters to write for you.

love,
M O M

to son, love mom.

to son, love mom.

4th anniversary issue

its been long since i last logged in to this website… i have been either busy or lazy to pen down some stuff that rotates in my mind.and at times either of us are down with a never ending cold and runny nose, although i am quite regular in updating my instagram feed and facebook profile… just in case you want to follow what happens to me everyday do like my page.

facebook page
instagram page

so its my anniversary week and we have been together sharing a life since 4 years now. 4th anniversary… seems like such a long time for us two because we are a very boring couple. 4th anniversary means 4 + 1 years together. the ‘1 year’ was all mushy and sweet like a bollywood movie and the other four seems so boring. we watch a movie every weekend like, yes, every weekend. so boring! and we dine-out together every sunday night, so boring. we have different taste buds all together so we never share food at any restaurants but he orders for me and i order for him. because we exactly know what kinda food the other person would enjoy. yet, we do not share meals… so boring! whenever we have a fight we shout at each other and either of us walks away from the location. two hours later we hug and patch up because being angry for two hours has drained us and left only specks of tears and aroma of love leaving behind a trail to find each other… we never do the roothna-manana stuff! how boring ! there are no patch up dates or gifts or roses or blings. yuck!

we never buy each other gifts because we … again .. have different choices!! i go to a mall and send him pics from the fittings room. he gets a cue and buys me that !!! so simple for him na?!
but i have a real difficult time buying him one. he is such a perfectionist… he has the best of shirts in all his favorite colors. he has atleast 4 dozen ties in his wardrobe, and about a few handful watches all from the world of titan, his favorite.
he has a really nice mobile phone and even an ipad and a laptop. he has accessories for both his cars all updated and his favorite songs are always in his pendrive. he never uses any fancy ‘all for men’ creams and he often gets gifted scents of the finest quality from friends who travel overseas or clients who are stinking rich! such an issue – a gift!
he had recently ordered a pen and he also bought himself a blazer while he was at the mall fetching my gift! uff… crazy guy. why is he such a perfectionist ?

i thought of gifting him a life long stock of pudin hara … hahaha then he said he is on diet and the need won’t arise.
i thought of gifting him an arm candy but he said he likes to pick one on his own, and his colleague recently gifted him a citizen.
i thought of gifting him a 50 things we can do in the dark wish chits in a fancy fish bowl but we have a two year old toddler! oh f**k! there is nothing i can gift him.

at the last moment i decided to gift him a dessert goodie basket and take him out for a dinner. i arranged this really cute invitation inviting him on a dinner date…
i dressed my best and called a cousin who makes desserts to swing by with her best desserts. i send her some pictures of us together and she made this for us.

dessert hamper by Femi Vasant

dessert hamper by Femi Vasant

it was the best ever anniversary gift i gave him (us actually, i could not resist tasting it again n again numerous times). loved the rose almond pudding the best…

it was only after the date and dinner and movie was done that i found the best ‘for him’ gift ideas. well, maybe on valentines now but here is a gift list for all you peeps who can plan in advance.

1. these two women make amazing night lounge wear of the utmost luxurious kinds. if your guy is into cottons to bed at night maybe you should buy a few from

bhanumati ka pitara by ridhie
and
wink india
the fabrics and designs they use are so so pretty and you can customize it as you like it! how perfect. i love how ridhie uses the cutsie buttons on all #bhanumatikapitara night wear she designs. they along with the fabric is a winner. if your man likes it he is gonna ask you to take care of his wardrobe refills everytime! check mate.

screeenshot

screenshot


one more screenshot

one more screenshot

>

2. PG used to own a royal enfield and we often took those late night vroooommm rides to places with nature surrounding us from the eyes to the horizon. expansion and work load had him lose the love with no time left to look after the mean black babe but in case your guy loves a lady like this one; amazon.in has some really cool gadgets for him and you can gift him that.

app wala screenshot

app wala screenshot

3. one more instagram page i like is fadjuice for men
they also have a website and one more shirt in his wardrobe with the perfect ink blue shade for a night out with his buddies is always going to be appreciated. i remember when i married PG , all his shirts were blue!! yes. i am not joking. light blue dark blue ink blue indigo blue blue-white stripes black-blue stripes faded blue royal blue! my man will appreciate a blue any day! now he has all colors in his wardrobe and he can always thank me for it!

limited options though

limited options though

4. the goodie hamper. when i told my husband how much it costed he smiled and said you would have got it at a cheaper rate at any cake shop. i then handed him a pudding bowl and asked him to taste… he was bowled over!!! he loved every bit of it and asked for more once over. no bakery would make me this for sure. a customized flavor in 24 hours!

contents: pudding jars, coffee-chocolate shots, truffles, cocktail chocolates.

contents: pudding jars, coffee-chocolate shots, truffles, cocktail chocolates.

he simply loved it… u can contact Femi by searching pretty little delights on facebook. she is a fab baker.

my handsome young man was quite impressed with the packaging as well as the contents: the puddings were yummy, i had never tasted a mocha chocolate brownie shot ever! the truffles were right sized too. the winner for me was the almond rose pudding in white chocolate. i am craving for more of it!!

the detailing was perfect

the detailing was perfect

if you have any gifting ideas for christmas or anniversaries/birthdays do pop a mail to us info@awomansays.com and we can feature you here.

cheers!
kunj

september vibes

September is my favorite month, it brings a lot of joy and lot of birthday celebrations … a lot of my favorite people are born in august-september… like everyone’s parents planned a baby at the same time, we were all just born on different days! lol.
that includes me too. i wanted a september baby too… it just didn’t happen that way. september vibes are beautiful. because the weather is perfect, the Ganesh festival falls in, a lot of holiday hangover from august continues and in between all this falls my birthday! on the ides of september… 15th is the date for all those non-shakespeare people reading my mind right now,

i did mention it in my last post, my husband was planning a surprise and we were both surprised by our bosses… we were both working double the time that day. i took a small freelance teaching job at an mba college here. wonderful kids they are. i really enjoyed spending my birthday training them to be good gentlemen and ladies for a new corporate life they shall begin with. there is something about this 9 story tall and huge college campus, its full of life and breezy air and a lot of flora around when you peep your head from the window. the kids bring in old college memories where i had fun and made friends and i too got my first job from an interview i went to while i was in my first year and found a flyer on the college notice board for the radio openings. how life has changed after 8 years!
i told them about my first interview and how i got through it and what a cherishing age they are in, they are the bosses, they have the power to change the world around them… they brought in a lot of positive vibes in me this month. i am gonna be thankful for this opportunity. if you live in ahmedabad, do drop in at som lalit college , opposite xaviers in the afternoons to say a hi !

so… he got me a new car! exchange with the old one, but yes !! a new car !! yay! i jumped like a baby kangaroo the day it arrived.

the new baby

the new baby

yes, i am a maruti loyalist. changed my old maruti for another maruti! my son was equally excited about it. and we call this his new car! its been a month but we still haven’t removed the bright pink ribbons on the front. this makes him feel it’s gift wrapped for him and i love to see the smile on his face every morning when he sees that ribbon and says to me, “mumma, pink ribbon. it’s my gift” and i reply with a smile, “yes sweetie, it’s yours” … we repeat this every. single. morning. ! and i wanna do this for as many mornings as possible… life is like those specks of sand in my fist… drizzling down everyday…

i saw a very close relative come back to life after knocking heaven’s gate this month. it’s like she was climbing the stairs and God halted, told her it’s a little too early and send her back to us. this was an eye opener for me… u never know when life slips out of that fist and you will regret all those things you wanted to achieve and live and saved it for later! my bucket list just grew bigger after that day! i am gonna do a lot more before i slip into HIS lap.

september also meant celebrating teacher’s day ! D made his first ever hand-made cards for his school teachers.

huge achievement for us

huge achievement for us

such a proud mommy i am …

major missing happening…. i miss my parents. met them last in june! need to plan a trip soon.

how was your september ? what all positive things happened with you ? plz share on our facebook page.
click here

and also like our intagram page , here, HERE!

this week onwards i shall leave a url for a video you all will love watching weather a parent or not at the end of the blog,
here is the video for this time.
why moms get nothing done.

here’s wishing you all a happy week ahead!

cheers!
Kunj 🙂

the weekend window

Monday morning after I dropped him to school I was gulping down a rather quick breakfast and browsing through facebook while waiting for a few downloads to happen on another window for a seminar i gotta take for a few college kids… I popped in huge spoonfuls of cereal and decided to eat the banana later when I am driving on the way… so much to do my brain was over flowing with tasks to be done by E.O.D ;

I wish every mother was gifted a supernatural superpower that begins on monday morning and fades by tuesday afternoon.

the pretty mess

the pretty mess

i am serious, a lot to deal with on a monday morning exhausts me by lunchtime and I question myself how will I manage rest of the day. some friends say they are glad monday happens, it means kids go to school, husband runs to the office and you have all the time to relax n sip your cuppa joy! yes yes… i so agree with you.
but i hate sitting in that chair and sipping my tea.

i see crumbles of dried food in that corner he was playing on saturday evening. marks from his miniature JCB are mopped on sunday but i see the image in my mind has stamped a memory fresh forever.

i hear shrills of laughter on the bed where the imaginary daddy horse took the kid on a ride over the clouds and near the moon, the laughter has pulled out the corners of the bedsheets and i need to tuck it back in and save the echo in the turns of my ears.

awomansays

this weekend he colored the apple, the ball, and even the white bed-cover in his favorite colors. we have never asked him to color inside the boundaries of his color book pages. i am glad he colored more than that… i shall now preserve the pictures to review them when he stops coloring to pick a night at the disco.

empty packs of treats and chocolates were lying stray on the side table. I quietly said my prayer and thanked God for giving us money enough to spend more than the daily needs. I folded the comforter and slid down two pieces of the jigsaw [outside] he was doing last evening.
if you have been reading my blogs from my pregnancy days, u know i worked at a publishing house that time…all that reading and researches, the hard work has paid off… my son at 2.4 can solve puzzles meant for 4+
thank you Lord, for you gave us more than we asked for. keep your faith in us forever.

stacked

stacked

the room was cleaned. I picked up the soiled clothes and popped them in the washing machine. popped in them the bruises on his knee from the evening cycle ride in the parking area; popped inside the worn-out jeans that had a mocktail stain and a cheese sauce stain, has stains of tears and laughter, paw marks of the new pups and of the creamy biscuit hands that were wiped in the car because kids like ONLY creamy biscuits.

the hero

the hero

i closed the weekend window only to open it 5 days later. will dust the weekday off from it and let the weekend breeze get in again. the pleasant aroma of freshly cooked monday lunch filled in the room as the window closed. time to get back to the chores and do some work. weekend.. THOU SHALL BE MISSED BUT WE WILL SEE on YOU AGAIN. you bring in lots of joy and laughter and memories to create and love to share, bonds to make and touch of care.
the weekend window is now shut.
see you soon.

cheers!
love,
Kunj 🙂

a woman says

its my birthday next month !!
husband is planning for a huge surprise… cant wait to celebrate.
how wonderful it is to celebrate your 29th birthday , one last year before you turn into a middle aged aunty of the colony.
that 29th birthday with your two year old and a husband who you love a lot spend on a lovely dinner at a posh restaurant that serves a 7 course meal in your favorite cuisine! whoppee… exciting??!! ain’t it ?

maybe…
maybe not…

because when you post pictures of the non alcoholic sparkling pink mocktail , the diamond earrings, the over-sized kaftan you wear to hide your belly tyre, the main course with lots of cheese, the cute chocolaty smile of your kid, and of course a random picture of the trio trying to fit into a single screen, squeezing and smiling celebrating pictures; somewhere you see your other single friends who recently posted their pics on the same social media website too.. its on your wall and screen and you scroll through them. pictures of your school friend, college classmate, someone you know from your previous work station who color their hair brown or streaks of blonde, wear huge aviators over the sleek bony jaw line and red red stained pout. wearing the shortest skirt available and pose against exotic scenes of Italy and America with her girlies or long time boyfriend with a perfect curve of her body that shall invite a 100 likes in less than 10 minutes while you are in your large lose pyjamas (since you are 12 kgs plus your size since college days )with a tub of ice cream or relishing the bar of chocolate your kid left unfinished.

CONCLUSION: YOU go enroll yourself to a gym next day and vouch no more ice cream nights. does this change anything about you? keeping yourself an arm length distance from your favorite comfort food… does that help? whining about why you have a kid while other friends are having fun… does it help? looking at her pictures and trying to think of excuses why you don’t look so good like her… does it help?

no!
no!
umm… no!

this is my story, this is what i feel right now. today and everyday! but its not just me who is unhappy about her 28th year.
i know a lot of troubled moms who have gone through lots of body changes, two or three kids and a great change in lifestyle.
i know women who have struggled to decide between kids and career. i know women who have ditched work to be with kids.
i knew women who have not shopped anything short and sexy because she thinks a mom should not be wearing this, she should dress up according to her role as a mom.
i know women who cared not which movie just released and which new restaurant serves her favorite pasta flavor, because the baby needs home cooked food.

life certainly has changed, and you have new roles to perform.
a woman says a lot of things that she wants to do but cannot after a baby if you listen to her.
a woman says she needs to get back her old body image, her old self , her old skin and hair.

reversal of time is impossible.

yes sweetie

yes sweetie

all you can do is look around and live in what is with you at the moment.
dear woman,
did you realize the sound of your kid chuckling is more pleasant than Niagara falls?
rewards like hugs and kisses are more soul-refreshing than holidays in short skirts?!
holding your baby’s tiny fingers or feeling your husband’s hand around you at night can be more securing than a voyage with other single ladies!

comment below and let me know why motherhood is more rewarding regardless your age and body image.
pour your feelings to your heart’s content.

LADY MILLION

LADY MILLION

THE BEST ENTRY CAN WIN THIS LADY MILLION CHAIN N PENDANT FROM PACO RABANNE for being honest and being the true self that you are.

love ,
kunj 🙂