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I see this handsome tall fellow driving a swanky new car and I go ‘wow’ .. then I see his mother sitting next to him and I go shit…. I realize a second later I too have a MIL and I am booked and I go double oh shit man!

there are always better opportunities I get when I have just started a new job… there are always some really good men I come across after I get married too, and at times they are married too. hahaha of course there is no harm in searching for anything that’s perfect. I look at those men and wonder if he is perfect or the one I have at home is the perfect-est one? There is always this quench for perfection and it is during this search that we fall into double trouble most of the times. More often I meet a few parents at social functions and get-togethers who I talk to and feel very mediocre, there are always things they have in them that makes them better parents compared to me whenever we have a quick chat about potty training and new words learned by our kids or simply just what new activities to involve the kids in if they aren’t enrolled in that expensive pre-school school groups.

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Being a mother you will never be happy with all you have and yet be happy with all you have

This search for perfection and wishing for more than what you are in your life leads to all sorts of double trouble moments. These moments are rare to happen but when they happen with me, I really want to run away to some corner of the world and imagine all this has never happened like it happens in those movies… alas! i have no money enough to travel the world for free.. my son and I are slaves to luxury for which his father works hard enough… ouch!
I dread days when there is pee on the new carpet … when clothes I just washed need to be washed again because he pulled them out from the dryer and dragged them all over the floor or used as a cape to win a deadly fight against an imaginary jungle animal that had blown into our home with the wind and only the 2 feet 10 teeth man in my house can see it. so much and yet so innocent!

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At times I feel life should be like the one Carrie Bradshaw has, who needs a few cosmos and three pretty friends to live life the prettier way.

But again Carrie is only someone’s beautiful imagination and my troubles are not!

I began working on some public speaking lectures I took for a class of 150 over three consecutive days at a teacher training college… for the very first time eight hours away from the madness was feeling so good. it felt like I was a mini vacation. I played some Obama and PMOI-Modi videos rather than old macdonald or incy vincy spider… I talked about great speeches and body language instead of oogly woogly aeroplane that bumps into the tummy and up it goes into the mouth,.. whooshhh!!!!

yes, I do all of that crazy stuff in real, in public! because I am a mom!

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double trouble begins when you come home all tired… his new white tee becomes yellow after the first wash after you feed him some turmeric coriander sauteed rice after he puked out his milk and ruined your brand new shirt you wore to the workplace or for an evening out with friends who think you dress up like a boring mom. haaaa!! and they call you boring!! no one knows what it feels like to ruin you new clothes even before its been even worn properly.

double trouble is not missing my firm milk bags before they even became milk bags.. now they just hang in there like a bunch of old grannies no matter whatever I wear to keep them upright and tight… double trouble is when right after I write this I know the next time you meet me you are going to give me atleast two extra glances or stare at them to see if it really is how I just described the sacred lactating twins.

Motherhood is fascinating… and I enjoy all its potential because I value them.

please share your motherhood double troubles…
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love,
Kunj

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