The maidless mommy often turns into a MINDLESS mommy, the one who goes crazy on what to do and when to do it. The maids in the house have become more important to us than the husbands in the house unless of course your husband is like a strawberry cheese cake and helps you with diaper changing, puke cleaning and picking up your mess from the playschool on time without meeting an eye(read flirting) with the caretaker there. in a maidless home you roller skate to the kitchen and get done with the phulka at 9am when is asleep to be eaten at 2pm. the wait for the kiddo to sleep is often calculated in mommy brains and plans are cooked up on everything from cleaning to clothing to bathing. hahahaa
i have had days when he would sit next to me and play with the water in a small bucket of his while i finish up my daily bathroom rituals… you must have faced this day too , if not… relax and remember me the day you do! because it has to happen some day for sure when you are not left alone even for a pee break.
what more… you cook in a frenzy and husband comes home talking about the great feast party with friends and colleagues at the workplace or his favorite chai-ki-dukaan… that day you wont need a stove to boil water for his tea.. your head is hot enough to suffice it all.
the weekend that just passed was my first weekend with friends over for dinner and inlaws outta town and maid on leave!! i had the most heroic two days of my life where i bargained for sleep and washed my nail paints off with all the crocery in the sink. i just realized raising a child alone is never going to be my cuppa cappuccino, but i learned a few lessons and here i am sharing my world to you for even if it may not be helpful to you but it can be encouraging to go solo someday!
firstly, never ever wait for the kid to go to sleep so that u can do your personal stuff or go cook in the kitchen. i for that matter even had loo rituals all done with him all awake and playing with his toys. he has to know that mumma has work other than just play and goof around with him. cook with him watching you do all the tadka and rolling and beating the mixer. as a matter of fact he will love to watch you do it… i used to get my son involved with me and doing it all along… ‘see what mumma is doing… u want to try to do the same sweety?’
secondly, take your neighbors help only if things go way too bad like a fire or a flood in the bathroom… when kids see you are busy and cant play they will get cranky so that you either play with them or leave them in your full-time maid’s lap or worse take them to the lovely neighbors and ask them to look after while you wrap up your bath and essentials. dont ever do that.. teach the child some patience and co-operation… they cant talk but they certainly have the brains to understand whats going on with you. i sang my son his favourite songs while i did my bath and he listened to carefully enjoying himself from far… it was like he was listening to a radio!! what a grand experience it was… i was so proud of it that i told my husband, my in laws and even my friends about what all i did.
thirdly, when you want to take a break and relax its not the same with him… probably he is not in a mood to sleep nor as tired as you since you have been running around the house like a maid… not him!! i often see my friends shout at their kids to go to sleep and sing loudly to them so they get bored and irritated and sleep because they cant handle their wacky mothers gone wild in the woods!! i try to fetch my child what he loves to do while i can keep him on the bed next to me.. i figured out long back my son loves ‘the simpsons’. i made sure i take a rest time break when that on is ‘on-air’ .
it was so nice to lay back and enjoy the show with him… i wonder how much he understood and often worry if he would be inspired by Bart Simpson… i don’t want him to turn into a nut case but what the heck!!! he is enjoying and i get to rest… that’s what matters. i have a friend whose son loves chotta bheem… lucky her that show is aired almost all day long!! hahaa let your kids take the toll and decide. u will realize what a blessing these stupid cartoon shows are. what we once enjoyed as kids and find illogical is fun to to them now!
and lastly, since there is no one around this is the best time to gel and make the best of mumma-child time. my son loves being in the balcony and often i am always so busy i rarely get to sit with him there and show him the birds and monkeys hanging out in the nearby branches… which i must mention he loves watching! i brewed my fave masala coffee and made him some milk.. we took our daily evening sip and lounged for an hour or more! we had so much of fun.. and this got him so tired that he dozed off for more than an hour. that gave me so much of time to make calls and run errands.
being alone with your kid has its advantages and otherwise but what u can focus on is how well you can handle it. how wonderful it is to spend so much of time with him.. he will grow up in a few months and go to playschool.. he will have his own set of friends and will not want to hang out with yours, he will grow up and have a girlfriends and go out on dates during weekends and holidays too… he will go out for his further studies and there will days when either you or him wont get to skype and say hello.. i miss you!
i know i am thinking of things too far!!!! but these things always make me realize how little my kid id right now and how i can spend all my days and hours with him.. and i do not wish to miss out on a single minute of it.
do share with me your experiences, let me know what all you do when you are all alone and maidless at home with your little one.
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