So my husband and I just completed 6 blissful years of marriage. I have written about PG and me very often on the website but not quite sure if I have mentioned this earlier, nevertheless… everything is cuddly n cheesy on the anniversary day.
The anniversary date was falling on a Monday so like good parents and responsible workoholics we decided to visit a small deli for a snack and a late night movie on Sunday. He wasn’t sure if it was our 6th or 7th anniversary … and I jokingly added that we have had many people in our family and friend circle who were joining in all odds to make sure we didn’t even make it together for our 1st anniversary; we should throw a party for all of them and feed them for their defeat.
Am I the only one who thinks Indians are nossy?? That there is a squad of 100 relatives who want to play a crucial role in deciding who the young buds of the family should marry!!
Getting back to keeping the post mushy, our pic to mark the 7th official year to commence with.
so how does one survive more than half a decade together and that too happily?
my little list of how to be married & happy:
To begin with, turning into 7 th year of marriage wasn’t difficult at all… what was difficult was to be happy and content.
1. be natural : right from the beginning show your bare Heart and Mind to your other half. It may be difficult for him/her to accept certain habits and affinity that make you a weirdo initially but love & attraction is on a high in those same initial years so the weirdness is easily accepted and apprehended as a natural occurrence and nothing disgusts/irritates the spouse later on. Instead, when you ain’t doing your bizarre stuff is when your partner will know something has gone wrong and you need help. ‘
2. count the spouse as a blessing in your life: turning into 7 , this is one thing I swear works and sticking on to it will prove fruitful during the 10th, 25th or even 50th anniversary (if you are alive and ready to cut the cake with dentures). Even today, on days when I am angry, frustrated or even PMS-ing I look at my husband NOT as someone who has no understanding of women but as a blessing that balances my life. I give a vague thought to what would have life been without this anchor in my life. He has been send as a blessing that I never count when I thank God for all the other happiness HE has showered on me & my family.
Life could have been better had I married someone else or fallen in love with someone else but one never knows… it could have been worse too !! how can I discount the fact that I have lived such beautiful memories with my husband and there are infinite of those in the future too. Count your spouse as a blessing in your life, just the way you are thankful for having wonderful parents or nature around you or the numerous materialistic pleasures.
3. learn to feel his pain: be a part of his worries and his dilemmas. Learn to share his pain as much as you would love to be a part of his celebrations. There is nothing that a human wants more than to share life with someone who can feel his pain or share his worries with. Try and see if you can help. On days and times when you cannot help but want them to know you care and feel pain, just cook a warm meal or stay awake with them without saying a word while they are working away late nights… they will appreciate you for being THE perfect ONE.
4. invest into something really expensive together: this way, there is nothing mine and yours to fight about. Everything remains “ours” to celebrate with. And by this I do not mean having a baby! the baby will soon grow up and move on its path and you will be left with a void that can end with a separation after 2 or so decades… by investing I mean in a club membership or a holiday or a property that you both can proud to show off and enjoy it together. A good investment only demands your money once, and proves fruitful for the rest of your life- like a harras of horses or a yatch or even a farmhouse/weekend home.
5. growth is just a number: never count how many years you spend together, how many days you need to celebrate like 8 years since you proposed me, and 10 years since you first told me you love me etc… they wont seem attractive sooner or later… instead count your blessings together, check how much have you grown together as a couple. the grey hair and wrinkles will definitely grow and so will the love an understanding to an infinite level.
6. surprise them: simple to understand and more simple to follow it, surprise them once in a while by baking their favorite cake or just a dinner at his/her favorite place. Nothing romantic or mushy (although a pinch of it never hurts!) but just a surprising gesture to show how much you love and care. I send him flowers for no reason, he takes me to my favorite coffee shop where we do not speak a word or chat on the way but being there in front of him sipping away my favorite brew is a feeling more achieved than words at times…