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dear son

A week before you turned 4 I received a report card from your teacher who said you need more practice holding a pencil and writing numerals and alphabets… not that you don’t know how to trace them but you need help if you have to write your them on your own.. she told me you are moody and would do your homework and class work pencil writing only when asked to. Otherwise you are a good boy and your wide smile is precious to the class. You are shy but once a friend you share your sunshine with them. But you need to know how to write alphabets on your own, you will be asked to write 3 letter words K-1 onwards you see. you paint and color very well, you can write too but…

making animals with wings in sand.

making animals with wings in sand.

I understand the pressure upon writing with pencil and the fact that alphabets need to be written to prove you are a smart student, those who came to know about your remarks asked me to buy you books that help tracing with pencil practice better and asking me to enroll you to a tuition class to start writing. The remarks from less important people were harsh and sounded like personal space invading threats but … dear son, you must know that none of the above affects me when I think about you as a growing person.
I have seen you grow like a man in the last one year and I am super proud of what you are becoming.
I have seen you empathize for strangers, I have seen you helping your classmates, I have seen you show respect to shopkeepers, vendors and maids. I have seen you sharing what is yours with your closest ones. I have seen you sacrifice on your most favorites for your friends.

a dream you are cultivating

a dream you are cultivating

I have seen you wear your clothes and remove the soiled ones, putting them carefully in the machine all on your own. I have seen you eat your food and making sure you have no leftovers, I have seen you denying a third or at times a second helping too just because you are aware you don’t want to waste food because a many of them won’t get dinner before bed.

my fave pic of my men together

my fave pic of my men together

I have seen you motivated to learn to ride a cycle and ride it in a few hours on your own. I have seen you walking 6kms up the mountain without throwing a tantrum. I have seen you ride a horse for the first time and that too for 20 kms without being scared. You trusted us when papa n I said we won’t let you fall down. I have seen you be a sport when I asked you to jump in the pool with me with cold water in 13degrees outside. I have seen you ride a sledge in snow like you will meet santa on the other end. I have seen you give me a helping hand when I was scared of jumping on a shikara that was shaking. I have seen you adjust on a night jungle safari at -2degrees. I have seen you walk gracefully to pat a wild bear untamed, unchained and feed her jaggery.

my brave one

my brave one

I see you grow everyday the way you will face the world, and whether you ace at writing 3 letter words with pencil or not, baby you have already made me proud of who you are and who you choose to be while you are growing up. You are our shadow and yet you are on your own a soul so different from us. Dear son, as you turn 4 I am happy you choose to call me mom and PG your dad. D, we could not have asked god to bless us with a purer soul than yours. Thank you for making sure there are exactly 1460(4 years) memories that make me proud of you rather than just 26 alphabets that prove you are a good student.

happy birthday little man

happy birthday little man

Happy 4th birthday dear son.

toddler visits walnut factory

so here we were in a super chilled Kashmir in 2016 holidaying with a bunch of wonderful people.. about 17 of us! we didn’t wanna go back.
when i went to Kerela i thought there is nothing so heavenly like this place on earth, and then i went to kashmir a few years later and i knew there is nothing more beautiful than Kashmir. we loved the snow, the warmth and hospitality of people there and the food and the landscapes. it was a dream destination for my husband. his bucket list 2016 has kashmir written in bold letters and we made it to the most beautiful place on earth last year. upon our return we had our flights from Jammu after a two day stay at Vaishnodevi, Katara. Jammu was super hot, as if we are back to ahmedabad. whilst we were there in the city we caught up with some friend’s friends who happened to own a walnut factory there. they had farmers who would sell the whole walnuts to them and they would then break it and sort out according to size and color and package them likewise.

here is a brief post on ‘ my toddler visits walnut factory ‘ in pics.

i had these pics saved and stored on my phone and never really thought about writing and posting on it… recently D saw these and immediately recalled the entire sorting and packaging process i showed him. i was quite glad that this lad who can’t even make a W on his notebook without help could remember the entire sorting and packaging process at a walnut factory! no doubt he surprises me every time and i pen it down on the blog. the little brat doesn’t eat a walnut but knows the shells can be used in a facial and the kernels for oil besides eating.
kids of the 21st generation!!!

here is a pic by pic toddler visits walnut factory story.

totally nuts 'family'

totally nuts ‘family’

the humongous office of the factory consisted of very interesting facts and figures, on how to identify your good and bad nut according to size, texture and color. there are so many kinds of walnuts in itself! did ya know ? i didn’t! and i am glad now my son knows it too. we can show it off at school meetings. hahaha and now you can download this pic from our pinterest page and do some showing your knowledge yourself too!

hansraj walnuts

hansraj walnuts

the humble hansraj family we visited who treated us with a factory tour and the most delicious north indian breakfast that actually kept me full till the evening. the size of the rasgulla they served was bigger than my son’s fist.

awomansays

the sorting happened in huge heaps, had it been my dad’s factory i would have jumped and swam in it like old duck uncle scrooge.

just cracking it up

just cracking it up

lovely ladies who were cracking the medium sized lot for us to relish while we walked by the huge sorting and packaging machines.

brains??

brains??

the rainwater harvested walnuts freshly cracked are the sweetest of all, and i am so so glad and thankful to the hansraj family who showed us around and treated us like their own family.
ever grateful to our friends who took us there for a visit.

the airport selfie @jammu

the airport selfie @jammu

the strolling got my little kangaroo tired. safe flight.

slept through the entire fly time

slept through the entire fly time

now this memory is etched on the world wide web.

cheers!
happy weekend.

mommy101 : treating constipated babies

last evening a really good friend called up and asked what can be given to her 1 year old twins- a boy and a girl- who are severely constipated. she is here for two of her medical treatments which actually means she is herself unwell… her daughter is cranky because she cannot pass her stool and the son is oh well.. just too playful but still constipated. ‘… american citizens that they are , there are possibilities that the babies are having trouble digesting our local water and plus the dust, pollution, jet lag! there are so many possibilities i said. its possible they don’t even like the indian toilets. ‘

‘its just poop!! kunj, just poop!! they are not forcing it out of their bodies, stop talking nonsense’ she shouted at me.

‘ok, give me a few hours. will talk to this amazing group of wats app mums i know who all have toddlers and must have passed through such a phase. they might give some ideas, until then give them lots of water and fibrous fruits.’ i replied aware with the frustration a mom feels when the kid is unwell… here she had two!

i then asked my amazing mommy friends on what to do to cure constipation… severe or just normal! here are some really helpful and natural remedies that helped my friends’s twins and i think shall help you too, readers! babies or toddlers, its just best to cure it naturally. and of course if not curable there are always wonderful doctors to help us out round the clock. here i am listing a few of them to help you, screen shot it… save it.. you never know when it shall be handy. and do show some love to the wonderful contributors with yours comments.

HOW TO CURE COMMON CONSTIPATION IN BABIES / TODDLERS :

1. give them water… lots of it and however they like it. as it is in glasses or straw bottles they love. or even with glucose or a hint of lemon n honey… they more the fluids the easier the out-flow will be.

2. Priyanka (a friend from surat) told me how she made sure her toddler has food that helped create soft motion since the child starting with milk and papaya a while later and a fibrous juice or orange after an interval… no solids that suck up body water in between. this helped the kid pass soft motion by afternoon.

specially for a heavily constipated kid its very important to keep them hydrated. excess of water will only result in a few more bathroom visits a day but less water means the kid will have a hard time pushing it all out. and which kid has the patience to sit on the seat until its all out?? until and unless you sit in front reading their favorite book or something ! hahaha… that can be fun. anyone has tried it?

3. this is my personal nuskha or to say something i developed according to my kid’s tummy-type. give them something that never stays in their tummy. for my kid its nuts ! overtime he has had his favorite street lorry peanuts that has been roasted on low flame. we buy him just a few because he cannot digest them at all… every time he has had it he has done an excess amount of potty! bits of nuts all over the bathroom floor that he could not control. we know that will happen so we give him nuts only at a time when he is either constipated or he is going to stay at home for the next few hours. its his favorite and we cannot say ‘no’ to him all the time, i just prepare myself to clean up the bathroom floor without making faces. so if your kid has a day when he cannot flush out you can consider giving any food that you know will definitely help drain out the dirt. for a few kids its warm milk or even boiled maize kernels that don’t stay in the body and along with it flushes out the body solids that has refused to move out.

4. has it been that the kid says … mumma i feel the pressure but its not coming out !!! well, try rubbing some vicks baby balsam or sudocream to the butt. create a warm bum. sounds sick but that helps. its the best on the spot solution. the warm bum will help ooze out. vaseline will help too. the excreta is too dry and hence the problem. if this is an everyday thing then read point no. 5

5. HEARD ABOUT MAGIC FOODS ? well, for constipated kids there are two awesome magic foods the nature has given us. 1. raisins and 2. oranges.
Nite (a friend from daman ) tells me how raisins that have been soaked at night and had in the morning helped her kid. raisins are high in iron that helps a bad tummy recover. and priyanka says oranges are awesome and best food for constipated babies because of high content of vit.C. i agree… logically both are fibrous and has immense water content that can drive the poop out. not only these two fruits help build immunity but also help clear the intestine. the best part both orange and raisins are available almost all through out the year. i can say that because my son is an orange lover and we have always stocked them in a dozen every week for almost 9-10 months last year in 2016. they are available fresh or imported.

6. a magic food i have always been treated with by my mom is M for… Mango ! its already warm in nature and having an entire one of this fruit that has been kept in room temperature clears the intestine on time. normally only available during the summers in india but if it works this summer with your kid you can always stash a 5kg pulp in storage when the season is about to end like my mom does. every time my son goes to visit her ; no matter what time of the year he has been greeted with aam-ras / mango juice. my mom peels the skin and cuts the mango into small uneven pieces and puts them in a plastic container with lid in the freezer as a storage making sure no water content is in the pulp or container. if your freezer is small you can also use zip lock bags. its always handy.

7. one way to make sure constipation doesn’t make a u-turn is to feed the kid yogurt in some or the other way. either as it is with lunch or dinner or make some dalia/raita with fruit n veggie bits in it or you may even cook in yogurt (google recipes that can be made). the probiotic bacteria that is found in yogurt is the best bad boy that treats a bad tummy. it can be had in constipation as well as loosies. it cane had to avoid both of these. once the kid is treated with the necessary natural ways to cure tummy problems they must be put on a diet that includes fibre as well as yogurt in any form.

8. just in case nothing of the above help and its been about more than a week since the child last pooped you must visit the doc. most of the times they suggest muout. a medicine that cleans the intestine and pushes the dirt out. this is a tried and tested medicine suggested by many moms but to be on a safer side just talk to your kid’s doc first before taking any medicine from a drug shelf. the above mentioned solutions are all natural.

if these help you do pass on the blog link to your friends and family and mommies in various groups over social media. lets help all constipated babies and kids have a healthy tummy.

love,
kunj

mommy x demonetization

9th of dec today, one month since the new currency launch and the same for disposal of old currency cavity.
so how has it affected the normal womenfolk in general ??
lemme tell you how i managed the entire situation for a month.
a normal indian woman keeps cash in all her purses and hand bags. small change and maybe a few notes of high currency for emergencies in a tiny corner of a locked cupboard. i do the same too. i have about 3 handbags that i keep on changing once in a while; color coding with the outfits you see! and i have a habit of keeping change and small cash in a wallet where as high currency emergency cash are usually kept in an envelope in the deepest zipper pockets of the bag. my emergency cash spend is always in fancy stores and malls or maybe a toy my son demanded that is exceeding the amount of what my small cash wallet of about 600-700 rupees carries.

initially the atm as well as banks had a queue that like a centipede was long and too many legs to count. mine would definitely be tired and i knew my 3 year old super-active brat would be bored and cranky as well… so i waited about 25 days and spend whatever high currency notes i had of 500 and 1000 to pay off bills such as credit card payment (which did not have a queue ), i, for a change paid off all other bills such as mobile postpaid connections and local grocery vendors and even got my car tank full. that left me with very few notes that i deposited in the first week of December; there was no queue that day because most of the people had already killed their time playing mobile games or giving their average and over intelligent views about the change Modiji initiated waiting in the same line when demonetization was first announced in November.

once i paid all my bills via old notes i counted the small change i had. counting from 10rupee coins and 100 rupee notes i had about 700rs. with me, which i kept strictly to be paid to vegetable and fruit vendors
and instead of going to my usual grocer i went to reliance fresh & star india bazaar to do all my grocery shopping including bread and biscuits. because they accepted cards. major payments happened with cards including paying for the anniversary gift and dinner and even buying my son a useless playdoh tub that he played for a day and i now use it to dab it over ant holes. so basically nothing changed the way i spend for my monthly expenses except the places where i spend them. reliance fresh gifted me an extra 1kg sugar and star bazaar gave me points into my card that i can redeem in next purchase. my idfc card gave me cash back for spending on an expensive anniversary dinner and gift. so i was actually gaining from this as well.

moving on to the first week of December i went to the bank and stood in a queue for cash withdrawal. remember i paid the credit card and mobile connection bills?? well, once my husband’s salary was credited he transferred the amount into my account and i withdrew all i needed to pay the maid and watchman (small salaried people who do not have a change for 2000). and trust me i was back home in just 30 mins. how ? i knew the bank branch i usually go to has a 2pm-2:30pm lunch break so i left from home at a time that would make me reach the bank at 2:35pm and that is when the computers are re-started and the process begins. those who have literally no sense of time management came in the mornings when the bank has a lot of footfall and they have to wait for their turn and waste a few hours doing nothing, i know some people even curse the bank staff for being so slow and others for breaking the line they are waiting on since morning.
right after lunch break there are hardly a few people standing there, 5 in my case… people started flowing in around 3pm and that was when i was leaving with my cash nicely sealed in my usual blue envelope tucked deep in my handbag. i asked my son to carry his mini jcb and he played around the water fountain while i stood 4th in the line and handed over the self cheque.

right from the time i started using a smart phone i have been using mobile banking apps and since my first job in 2006 i am habituated to scratching my debit and credit cards for bigger purchases which means i never needed to keep a lot of cash and worry about it. i have always paid my jeweler with a card as well and the bank i have account in has a small branch on the way to my son’s school so often i deposit whatever little cash i save or earn every fortnight while on our return to home. i have been doing it since a few years and all my cash was deposited , except the few emergency notes i had at home, before 8th november announcement that made everyone go crazy! this is why demonetization hasn’t affected my daily routine at all !
i have always seen my mom do the same too. maybe this habit of depositing whatever savings i do on a weekly or monthly basis that saved me from standing in long bank queues, listening to curses on the management and government and time.

if you as a woman are still in a troubled phase of how to get things done until 31st dec; here are a few tips:

1. go to the bank right after lunch break, very few people standing there and you can avail the cash faster.

2. ask your husband or friend to teach you how to use mobile banking apps. it’s easy and you can also link it to the joint account you share with your partner so you need not worry incase your balance goes to nil.

3. for mommies with little kids take a toy or two along with them, i am sure if the bank staff is good they won’t mind your kid playing instead of screaming’ i want to go home’

4. if the staff is not so cordial to your kid and you, change the bank !!!

5. ask your bank to send personal banking managers to your home for helping you with transactions in case you cannot go all the way to the bank. idfc has one such facility and i am one super glad mommy to have an account with them.

6. go spend some money in malls and super grocery stores and buy a month’s grocery and needs in bulk that would be more than happy to even provide you free home delivery if you don’t have a car.

7. use the small cash to pay off people who won’t be able to give you large change. also do not forget to use the same for toy train rides and flashy car bumper rides.

come-on your kid doesn’t even know how to spell demonetization !!! he/she should never be at a loss !

8. stop reading about how difficult it is for people to do all work due to this money changing into pink in newspapers! instead see who spend on a 50kg cake on his 50th glamorous birthday!

9. empty all your wallets and handbags and those return gift envelopes from aunts and uncles at weddings.

10. raid your son’s piggy bank for small change. no, not your daughter’s … #girlchildrights

i think everyone has benefitted from the change.
-people did extra shopping to use off old notes. there was sudden cash flowing in the market and shop-owners were happier than ever. diwali was back in a month!
–some elderly n womenfolk started thinking about owning a bank account.
—lots of technical awareness among women folk who owned a smart phone but never used it for banking and payment apps but stupid social apps only.
—-people started using creativity to create funny memes and showcasing it all over the internet! the pink panther notes became a star overnight.

-kunj

To son, love, Mom.

its my son’s third birthday and i was have been busy making a list of friends to invite and menu to decide; cake to order and arrangements be made. how much will i be able to shell out asks my mind… lol, its your son’s birthday… dont think twice! replies the heart.
we possibly do everything for them. right from nine months of pregnancy and sickness, going through hours of labor pain, sleepless nights of feedings, washing and cleaning the feeding and cooking and picking up and dropping them to schools and events and revising for tests and preparing for big exams and paying for grad studies and planning a wedding and paying for the honeymoon and adjusting with the newly weds and taking care through sickness… and in health… in rains and in winters!! what is left out?? nothing!

dear son,

you are three years old now. what a maddening and lovely 36 months these were. i have never been through so much of pain when you were born and i have never ever been so happy the moment you were born. so for all the labor pain i went through your first smile paid for it. now u don’t need to go through similar pain when i grow old and tired.
remember those nights when you peed on my clothes and got all the sheets dirty too?? never mind the frustrations of the night cleaning. you just paid for it when u searched for a water closet at a party two months back and decided only to do it there. you did it all by yourself including tucking the shirt in and just paid for my sleepless nights. i am proud of you son. now you don’t need to stay awake all night long when i grow old… give me a chance to learn on my own too.
two years back i mashed your first food apart from my feed… today you call me your best friend and the best cook, and you just paid for all the labor i did in the kitchen by proudly announcing it to our family and your friends. now u don’t need to mash or make my food to return the favor when i grow old. you have already made me happy at the age of three.
when you first received a wound while playing with your friends you hugged me and cried and let my hugs and kisses heal you from within. you trusted me while i helped you clean the wound and gave me a kiss in return. dear son, when i grow old i don’t need your hard earned money to heal my aged wounds; let’s just hug and kiss again and let me return your love with a kiss that time.
i would hang up a client’s call and let the vegetables burn on the stove when you needed me to patiently help you wear your own clothes. treat me with the same patience when i grow old. i don’t want you to shout at your wife or call a maid for me, i only want you to patiently wait for five more minutes while i struggle to close the buttons or tie the lace. let’s just smile and encourage each other all the time.
oh what a beautiful day it was when you came back from your first school trip and you would just not stop babbling about all the fun you had. my son, there will be more trips and stories to share when i shall send you to a bigger school and a better college. i shall work hard and pay so you can weave a lot of memories in future. but when you start working, just call me once a day and keep on sharing them like you do everyday right now. i don’t want a part of your salary; i only want to listen to what memories you made today. i know you shall make me proud some day and i want to be a part of those memorable days and not a part of your paycheck.
for all the soiled shoes and plates and dirty laundry i do for you everyday ensures you are growing up fine and healthy and happy! for all the pain i go through you pay for it everyday with your hugs and kisses and smiles and laughter and trust and tugging into my arms and sharing stories and playing with me and holding my hand and breathing on my face while sleeping on my shoulder… aaahhhh!!! i am already being paid back instantly for all the things i do for you. thank you for loving me back. i shall keep on loving you all my life my son. now you don’t need to cook and clean and pay for my medicines when i grow old. you have already made me happy and proud and i am sure you shall love me the same when you grow tall and i lean on my three foot stick.
just call me once a day and share what you did, make me laugh and be my friend. that’s all i ask for.

you have already made feel like the best mom. you have already brought in lots of happiness in my life. my son, a woman goes through various phases in her life and being your mom has been my best phase ever! so love me back and hug me more. kiss me tight and call me more.
you are just three… so we have more memories to make and i have more letters to write for you.

love,
M O M

to son, love mom.

to son, love mom.

Best buys of 2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR

There are numerous things we buy for our kids and some of them have a ‘wow, i guess i shall buy this once more’ effect as parents.
most of the toys don’t last until i can get a good picture of it. they have, according to my kid, some invisible wings which he tests by throwing it from our third floor flat. sadly they end up dying a miserable broken death within two days! some are valued so much that they accompany my husband and me on the bed that night and if the toy behaves well … a few nights! he clings on them and dreams about them like his favorite set of digger and excavators and dumpers.

some items like the perfect shampoo for his hair and the most baby like fragrance lotion always hit on my shopping list on a repeat. some edibles are so yum that i often sneak in his snack jar while he ain’t watching for a treat myself. hahaha such a bad mom i am !!

here is my list of most recommended or best buys for toddlers 2015.

pipe link set

pipe link set

comes in a wooden environmental friendly box, this linking the pipe set is amazing. teach them colors, shapes, hand-eye co-ordination etc. and as a mom i love the fact that he is left to imagine any

making some tables in coordinating colors

making some tables in coordinating colors

thing that he wants to make. there is nothing perfect or right way to creativity. he imagines and makes aeroplanes , guns, tables, water fountains from these. plus he repeats colors everytime he makes them. home schooling= check!!

multi functional cleanser

multi functional cleanser

perfect for everything. we clean our toys and utensils, fruits and clothes and sometimes even wipe his cupboard shelf with this.
everywhere a child’s hands reach he is bound to get in contact with a million germs. some good, some bad. and no kid is like Lord Krishna who would be just fine even if he eats mud! we have had days when he would throw up if his meal plate ain’t cleaned well. since then i clean all his utensils myself. all his clothes are rinsed by me first in this liquid before its dumped with the rest of the clothes in the washing machine. as a mom everything goes under my nose and eyes radar before it reaches him. this chicco bottle is a strong recommendation for all mommies and house daddies.

finger foods!

finger foods!

marriages, jungle treks and lots of other such parties where finger foods by heinz and gerber come handy. one box at the age of three is too small to call a meal but at times it really helps me to get him seated for an hour until we find food suitable for him. i have had days when he would just not have milk! i get the milk sipper filled at a supra high rate at a 5star resort and he would not touch it because the milk has a different taste… troubles with kids who only drink and eat certain flavors !! keeping a pack or two is always recommended no matter what the child’s age is!

awomansays

no! certainly not the bottle… the crocs in blue! lol

we bought these for five times the cost normal crocs like shoes in malls and stores and i m happy we bought the costlier version. best buy for him. he literally lives in them. they are comfortable, he runs and jumps in them, he plays in the park and rides his bicycle in them. he climbed some 500 steps while we were doing some sight-seeing at a holiday. summers rains n cold… perfect for all seasons. i wont be able to describe it better. it lasted the entire year and maybe this year too and maybe sometime late this year i shall give it to a kid younger than him and that kid will also be able to use it for long. what better can i ask for his tiny budding soft feet?! best buy of the year.

another favorite

another favorite

we have travelled a lot this year and with the changing season the nose always gets blocked, the sneezes never stop and the endless itchy nights leave the kid and myself sleep deprived. this jnj vapor bath is so good. add it in an empty bucket or bathtub, fill the bucket/bathtub with warm running water and the entire thing is filled with white non-soapy bubbles. and the bathroom is filled with menthol vapors. i would recommend this to all mothers for themselves as well as their kids. it can be used for kids 3 months and above. perfect for hair wash too. doesn’t work as a shampoo, once shampoo is applied cleanse it with this water and all dirty mucous comes running out from the nose. the inhaling on soft vapor air helped us clean those chocked and blocked nose and lungs. this winter we haven’t been to the doc. three cheers for jnj vapor bath!

email me your best buys and we shall put it up here on the website. info@awomansays.com

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love,
Kunj

the weekend window

Monday morning after I dropped him to school I was gulping down a rather quick breakfast and browsing through facebook while waiting for a few downloads to happen on another window for a seminar i gotta take for a few college kids… I popped in huge spoonfuls of cereal and decided to eat the banana later when I am driving on the way… so much to do my brain was over flowing with tasks to be done by E.O.D ;

I wish every mother was gifted a supernatural superpower that begins on monday morning and fades by tuesday afternoon.

the pretty mess

the pretty mess

i am serious, a lot to deal with on a monday morning exhausts me by lunchtime and I question myself how will I manage rest of the day. some friends say they are glad monday happens, it means kids go to school, husband runs to the office and you have all the time to relax n sip your cuppa joy! yes yes… i so agree with you.
but i hate sitting in that chair and sipping my tea.

i see crumbles of dried food in that corner he was playing on saturday evening. marks from his miniature JCB are mopped on sunday but i see the image in my mind has stamped a memory fresh forever.

i hear shrills of laughter on the bed where the imaginary daddy horse took the kid on a ride over the clouds and near the moon, the laughter has pulled out the corners of the bedsheets and i need to tuck it back in and save the echo in the turns of my ears.

awomansays

this weekend he colored the apple, the ball, and even the white bed-cover in his favorite colors. we have never asked him to color inside the boundaries of his color book pages. i am glad he colored more than that… i shall now preserve the pictures to review them when he stops coloring to pick a night at the disco.

empty packs of treats and chocolates were lying stray on the side table. I quietly said my prayer and thanked God for giving us money enough to spend more than the daily needs. I folded the comforter and slid down two pieces of the jigsaw [outside] he was doing last evening.
if you have been reading my blogs from my pregnancy days, u know i worked at a publishing house that time…all that reading and researches, the hard work has paid off… my son at 2.4 can solve puzzles meant for 4+
thank you Lord, for you gave us more than we asked for. keep your faith in us forever.

stacked

stacked

the room was cleaned. I picked up the soiled clothes and popped them in the washing machine. popped in them the bruises on his knee from the evening cycle ride in the parking area; popped inside the worn-out jeans that had a mocktail stain and a cheese sauce stain, has stains of tears and laughter, paw marks of the new pups and of the creamy biscuit hands that were wiped in the car because kids like ONLY creamy biscuits.

the hero

the hero

i closed the weekend window only to open it 5 days later. will dust the weekday off from it and let the weekend breeze get in again. the pleasant aroma of freshly cooked monday lunch filled in the room as the window closed. time to get back to the chores and do some work. weekend.. THOU SHALL BE MISSED BUT WE WILL SEE on YOU AGAIN. you bring in lots of joy and laughter and memories to create and love to share, bonds to make and touch of care.
the weekend window is now shut.
see you soon.

cheers!
love,
Kunj 🙂

a woman says

its my birthday next month !!
husband is planning for a huge surprise… cant wait to celebrate.
how wonderful it is to celebrate your 29th birthday , one last year before you turn into a middle aged aunty of the colony.
that 29th birthday with your two year old and a husband who you love a lot spend on a lovely dinner at a posh restaurant that serves a 7 course meal in your favorite cuisine! whoppee… exciting??!! ain’t it ?

maybe…
maybe not…

because when you post pictures of the non alcoholic sparkling pink mocktail , the diamond earrings, the over-sized kaftan you wear to hide your belly tyre, the main course with lots of cheese, the cute chocolaty smile of your kid, and of course a random picture of the trio trying to fit into a single screen, squeezing and smiling celebrating pictures; somewhere you see your other single friends who recently posted their pics on the same social media website too.. its on your wall and screen and you scroll through them. pictures of your school friend, college classmate, someone you know from your previous work station who color their hair brown or streaks of blonde, wear huge aviators over the sleek bony jaw line and red red stained pout. wearing the shortest skirt available and pose against exotic scenes of Italy and America with her girlies or long time boyfriend with a perfect curve of her body that shall invite a 100 likes in less than 10 minutes while you are in your large lose pyjamas (since you are 12 kgs plus your size since college days )with a tub of ice cream or relishing the bar of chocolate your kid left unfinished.

CONCLUSION: YOU go enroll yourself to a gym next day and vouch no more ice cream nights. does this change anything about you? keeping yourself an arm length distance from your favorite comfort food… does that help? whining about why you have a kid while other friends are having fun… does it help? looking at her pictures and trying to think of excuses why you don’t look so good like her… does it help?

no!
no!
umm… no!

this is my story, this is what i feel right now. today and everyday! but its not just me who is unhappy about her 28th year.
i know a lot of troubled moms who have gone through lots of body changes, two or three kids and a great change in lifestyle.
i know women who have struggled to decide between kids and career. i know women who have ditched work to be with kids.
i knew women who have not shopped anything short and sexy because she thinks a mom should not be wearing this, she should dress up according to her role as a mom.
i know women who cared not which movie just released and which new restaurant serves her favorite pasta flavor, because the baby needs home cooked food.

life certainly has changed, and you have new roles to perform.
a woman says a lot of things that she wants to do but cannot after a baby if you listen to her.
a woman says she needs to get back her old body image, her old self , her old skin and hair.

reversal of time is impossible.

yes sweetie

yes sweetie

all you can do is look around and live in what is with you at the moment.
dear woman,
did you realize the sound of your kid chuckling is more pleasant than Niagara falls?
rewards like hugs and kisses are more soul-refreshing than holidays in short skirts?!
holding your baby’s tiny fingers or feeling your husband’s hand around you at night can be more securing than a voyage with other single ladies!

comment below and let me know why motherhood is more rewarding regardless your age and body image.
pour your feelings to your heart’s content.

LADY MILLION

LADY MILLION

THE BEST ENTRY CAN WIN THIS LADY MILLION CHAIN N PENDANT FROM PACO RABANNE for being honest and being the true self that you are.

love ,
kunj 🙂

grandparents : for my children

TOLERANCE
PATIENCE
PEACE OF MIND

my son makes sure i lose at least one of any above once a day, raising a 2+ something toddler is a task of its own. you gotta be a brave mom to handle one all alone. i have my mil who constantly pats my back and keeps me going. i really wonder what would i do had she not been around. right from those really long nights when he would refuse to sleep; days when he was sick and needed only a mommy-hug ; when i wanted to take a nap or go take a 90 min spa break! ; when all a i wanted to do was watch tv in peace or eat from my plate at my ease. these are tiny things but she made sure i never compromised as a woman, wife, blogger or being just a friend to everyone around me. she may be the only one in my home to know about my son as much as i do! he plays with her and she spoils him with treats.

D's first food was fed by his grandmom

D’s first food was fed by his grandmom

i cannot thank her enough for being with us when our child was growing up and these two years passed by more smoothly than i thought/heard/imagined of.

i write today not to thank her. i can do that enough on a personal ground. i want to share with you my lovely friend what the importance of grandparents is in our kid’s life. i am not the first one to talk about it, my child is not the first one to experience it, we are not the first ever family who lives with their parents but somewhere we all crib about how we want to raise the child on our own but the elders always have their wishes and opinions (read: advices) for everything.
we forget that the child needs more than just a mom and dad, that the child is born in a family and family only doesn’t mean parents. one of those many roles that all feminist advertisements forget to boast about is that of a grandmother, or granddaughter. and no one ever tells you that a grandfather and a grandson are also stages of a man’s emotional life cycle.

my dad with D. love them rock-solid

my dad with D. love them rock-solid

there has to be someone who can take you to the temple or the church, someone who can tell you old school stories without looking through a book or a phone app. someone who can share with you anecdotes of how your parents were naughtier than you when they were your age, that things don’t always make a person beautiful but their characteristics do, that bravery is valued and money cannot buy a night under the stars.
the ‘value your parents’ and ‘believe in hard work’ have numerous yarns from the family legacy that grandparents tell you.
when you have done something really really wrong you know hiding behind grandpa can save your life from the angrier than a wrestling bull mom!
when you need a treat or a walk in the market grandma is always the first one to be asked for it,
those mythological stories before bed and the lollipops after the report card day , who else would spoil us for these but the grandparents?
helping her cross the road when she gets old and taunting her for forgetting her medicines makes her equally happy.
learning some hammer techniques or joining the family business is going to make him so happy and proud, his wrinkles will show all over the cheeks.
mothers will feel secure and fathers will feel blessed when their kids play with their grandparents.
my grandparents had tears in their eyes when they held my son in their arms the day he was born. 4 years back when my nephew was born i saw them laughing and smiling and so cheerful for their first ever great grandchild was born.
they feel lucky to be with us and our children and we should feel lucky they are around us, to bless us and give our children all the wisdom they earned through their life.
i make sure my son spends at least a few hours just playing with his grandparents everyday. he has to build memories with them, for when he grows up he needs to tell his kids what a shitty grand mom his kids have, knows only how to blog and create kitchen fiasco where as he was always blessed with baa-dada and a treasure full of memories captured on phone , saved on google. “thank you technology”

D with my mom. they share d same genes

D with my mom. they share d same genes


the day he was born, i was exhausted plus visitors flooded in the entire day, D spend his entire first night outside my womb with her, cuddled with her , the fragile little one got his first bath, maalish and formulae from her. his guardian angel is what i call her.

D with his grandfather

D with his grandfather


no matter what the time, no matter how tired he is, no matter how tensed he is with things from work; he makes sure D never goes to sleep without laughing out loud and plays with him. sweet dreams is what he gifts D every single night !!

cheers!
kunj

motherhood and love

hi there,
one of the benefits motherhood has is you suddenly get some worldly wisdom and you can blabber on any topic ! just anything.
i have been doing that blah blah blah stuff here for two years now and now writing for more people and answering more wisdom on mails too…

my new space is on worldofmoms.com

here is the link to it:

worldofmoms.com/blog

Whether you are a working mother or a stay at home mom, whether you belong to a joint family or a nuclear one, and even if you are a desi mom living in the west or you’re living in a tiny remote place and peeping in the outside world via internet… we all have one thing in common. MOTHERHOOD. The feeling of motherhood and being ‘that one’ who blew up that flat tummy never to be perfectly flat again and yet happy to have it. Motherhood is when you are so f-ing tired that you only realize you were sleeping on a piece of cardboard jigsaw and a crayon under your pillow all night long after you wake up. The crayon broke into three because of the massive weight; not of your head but of the tensions and worries you slept with. The crayon breaks into several pieces if you are a mom to a kid who has fever that night or whose kid has an important exam next day. Still, this princess did not realize the pea for those seven-eight hours. Simply saying because, this princess left the kingdom when motherhood struck her in the heart.

Not every one learns to be a perfect parent unless you had a litter of younger siblings running under your nose while growing up. With the rise of nuclear families (such a typical political dialogue this is) many parents themselves do not have a sibling. They are either foster or cousins. I was the younger one in my family so didn’t learn anything… I was more bossed around by elder sibling. Some moms like me learn about motherhood only after making a few dozen mistakes. A handful of those are made when the baby is still a newborn. I remember them all and regret them so. Having said that, my second child (if I ever have the patience to have any or plan to raise someone else’s kid) will never see the same light as my first child even if I am more near to the perfect mother figure the second time.

pic courtesy:  www.lilportraits.com

pic courtesy:
www.lilportraits.com

next post shall be on queries and answering your weirdest questions, some i already have saved in my email and i have answered most of you guys via my official id… info@awomansays.com
plz feel free to write anything. would love to have an inbox full of motherly love.

cheers!
love,
Kunj 🙂